How Reparenting Helps to Address Your Insecure Attachment Style

If you have an insecure attachment style, you can potentially benefit from doing some reparenting work. Insecure attachment affects those in their ability to form healthy relationships, make decisions and/or to cope emotionally. On the other hand, reparenting yourself helps you to heal your inner child, gain trust and maintain emotional stability. Thus, you enhance your ability to cultivate close relationships, boost confidence and enhance overall well-being. 

Attachment styles first came from the work of John Bowlby, a psychologist. He first proposed Attachment theory in the 1950s and 1960s. Attachment theory helps us to find out more about the nurturing that was experienced during the initial years of our life and how it affects us today.

Bowlby’s view is that the bond between mother and child is most important of all. The first formative 18 months is very crucial in the child’s development. Where there is adequate nurturing, the child grows up to be a secure adult. Conversely, the absence of adequate nurturing leads to insecure attachment and the forming of invisible emotional wounds that often results in maladjustments in the emotional, social and cognitive development of the child. 

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Reparenting Yourself: What Does It Mean and How to Get Started

What does reparenting yourself mean?

Reparenting yourself simply means healing your inner child and giving your inner child the love and the guidance and support that you didn’t receive when you were young, in the present. 

[Update] Check out my new online course on How to Reparent Yourself. 

How to Connect with Your Inner Child using S.H.I.F.T.

You may be wondering about how you can connect with your inner child. For a start, you may even have some doubts about the idea of having a wounded inner child. After all, it is not like the inner child is a being that you can actually see or hear externally. Let alone one that is wounded. How, then, do you connect with your inner child, if you are interested to heal aspects about your childhood? 

Well….it is true that you can’t actually see your inner child with your naked eye. It may even feel like you are playing pretend when you close your eyes and attempt to see your inner child. Yet, just because you can’t see something with opened eyes does not mean that it does not exist. For example, just because you can’t see electricity does not mean that it is not working in the background when you turn the lamp on. 

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How to Shift from a Scarcity into an Abundance Mindset

Steven Covey in his best-selling book, The 7 Habits of Highly Effective People, first coined the terms of a scarcity mindset and an abundance mindset. Scarcity mindset refers to the paradigm of looking at life as finite, as if there is a limited number of pieces in a pie. On the other hand, an abundance mindset refers to the paradigm where there is enough and there is plenty for everyone. 

Here’s how Stephen Covey describes the Scarcity Mindset…

Most people are deeply scripted in what I call the Scarcity Mentality. They see life as having only so much, as though there were only one pie out there. And if someone were to get a big piece of the pie, it would mean less for everybody else.

The Scarcity Mentality is the zero-sum paradigm of life. People with a Scarcity Mentality have a very difficult time sharing recognition and credit, power or profit – even with those who help in the production. The also have a a very hard time being genuinely happy for the success of other people.

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How You Can Schedule Healthy Money Dates into Your Calendar

A money date is one where you are working on your finances; whether on your own, with your partner or team. It is one where you specify a day and time on your calendar for a money-related activity that is meant to help you consolidate, improve and/or strengthen your personal or joint financial position. It may be that you need to work on

• budgeting for a trip, 
• creating a spreadsheet to monitor expenses, 
• discussing with your partner on financial options, 
• reviewing your earnings, 
• finding better ways to minimise tax, 
• paying down your loans,
• moving of investment funds between accounts, 
• getting updated advice from your financial planner,
• create a financial plan to help you manifest the lifestyle that you want etc. 

By scheduling money dates on a regular basis, you are better able to identify gaps, opportunities and ideas instead of making any personal financial activity as a once-a-year event.

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How to Deal with Emotional Overwhelm When It Feels Too Much

Going through a tough period?

Finding it hard to deal with emotional overwhelm?

Perhaps, you are at a loss about what to do with the flood of feelings that are coming up. 

A client once described her experience as being in a washing machine, with the flood of emotions spinning round and round and unable to stop. And it happens to the best of us. Whatever the trigger is, it may be that you are feeling angry or sad, all at once. Or that you are feeling torn. 

You just can’t make out what to think or how to go about solving your problems. No wonder you struggle to fall asleep. Well, if you have been feeling struggling, I would like to invite you to create a safe space for yourself.

Instead of being in a rush to repress or deny what you are going through, give yourself some time to process your feelings. 

Start by putting your hands over your heart and center your breathing.

Be in a safe non-judgmental space as you work through this. 

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4 Money Healing Stories: Letting Go of the Past

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How to Heal Your Emotional Money Wounds

When it comes to healing money wounds, there are two important considerations:

1. Healing needs to involve the emotional layer.

2. Healing of money wounds is best resolved at root cause.

Let me explain more.

1. Healing Emotionally

The money behaviour or situation that you are in is influenced by what’s going on internally – your thoughts and feelings.

For some people, any talk about money tends to conjure plenty of negative feelings.

Feelings such as worry, frustration, sadness, anger and so on.

However, when emotions run high, they create a block or disrupt our energy system.

Our clarity and ability to process thoughts get reduced and we also find ourselves less able to take the necessary action that will help us improve our financial position.

Unfortunately, a block in our ability to manifest financial abundance can also impact our business or to get a job with a pay that we deserve.

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How to Deep Dive into the Root Cause of Anger

You may get all fiery, red and hot when feeling angry.

It may also be that you lash out at others when you start to feel mad.

However, anger may not just be about getting triggered and exploding in an outward behaviour.

While you may feel justified about feeling angry, excessive anger can create an impact on your health and also hurt your relationships. 

Hence, to alleviate intense emotional levels such as anger, an inner deep dive is warranted. 

In fact, if you choose to investigate, you may just find out that there are deeper “onion” layers (emotionally and cognitively).

Refer to the image below for some examples on what you may discover.

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What is the Fight-Flight-Freeze-Fawn Stress Response

Most of us have heard about the fight, flight and flee response to stress. But what about the fawn response? Well, let’s put them altogether so that we can understand the different responses in the face of stress. 

Fight, flight or freeze is a set of stress response arising in natural body reactions to perceived threats. It’s a survival response that has been programmed since the days of our ancestors when there was real danger posed by dangerous animals. These days, the threats that we face are largely psychological. However, the body continues to respond in the same manner as if there is a tiger standing right in front of us.

In a nutshell, when faced with stress, your sympathetic nervous system is being activated. Hormones are released in your body after being stimulated by your adrenal glands; from a signal that was first transmitted to the hypothalamus by your amygdala, the emotional part of your brain. As a result, you are prompted to stay and fight, run and flee danger or stay frozen and stuck.
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