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How to Let Go of Resistance to Change

overcome fear of failure resistance

Learning to let go of resistance to change is incredibly important if we are hoping to grow, evolve or improve ourselves. A resistance to change can happen when we are caught in the habit of doing things in a certain way. We become rigid even when the landscape has changed. We lose flexibility. We ask ourselves: why rock the boat when the old ways have worked?

Resistance to Change

This message became clear to me early last year. A new train station had opened near my home. It now takes 4 minutes for me to walk out of my front door to the train stop. With the newly opened tracks, I have more options in routes to many destinations.

Anyone would have excited about the improved convenience. Except that it took weeks for me to process my increased options. I continued taking old routes and ways to reach where I wanted to go.

Until one day, while at a bus stop, I found myself thinking about how much time I was wasting waiting for a bus that was taking a long time to show up. This was also when I had an “aha” moment (where dark clouds start to part and light finally came in)!

I realized that I had been on auto-pilot. At least, my physical body was. It had been already conditioned by my mind to take a certain route. My mind was blocking out the new information that more paths had opened up. These new paths could potentially save me time in getting from point A to point B.

With that realization, I immediately explored new options. My traveling time reduced even more with these. On reflection, it has been a great decision that I made to first let go of my 10-year old car two years ago and switching to the greener option of taking public transport. I have been walking a lot more, instead of just sitting in my car and with little time difference taken to get to a place. Also, one great side benefit I have been unexpectedly enjoying is free car ride offers by friends on some days. I feel blessed – thanks guys, you know who you are 🙂

In the case I have just described, the situation was nothing major. But what if our resistance to change has a far more serious impact? We can potentially prevent ourselves from being the best that we can be.

Where resistance is huge, it can feel as if a shift will take enormous energy. We may even go into anxiety when we think about having to make a change. Examples of anxiety symptoms include sweating, stomach churning, tension headaches or even becoming paralyzed (such as, encountering the freeze response).

And so, our minds shut down. We leave clear thinking out. Our physical body becomes conditioned to do things in a repetitive manner.

Is this true for you now?

Are you stuck in a rut?

Can’t get moving on your goals?

Ask yourself if there is a secondary gain that you are holding on to.

 

Secondary Gain to Keeping Our Resistance to Change Alive

A secondary gain is a benefit that you derive for not overcoming the problem. For example, we may not be motivated to exercise (despite saying that we would) because we so enjoy bingeing on potato chips while watching TV. More examples of secondary gain here. 

The secondary gain prevents us from taking needed action to step up. Mostly, secondary gain is hidden from us. We are not conscious of it. We are not aware that it is the reason that is creating a self-sabotage situation.

Let go of resistance to change in past

How to Let Go Of Resistance to Change

Here are 3 basic steps…

1. Become aware if there is a secondary gain that is preventing you from taking needed action. Highlight the advantages for not making a change and the advantages of moving on.

2. Decide if you’d like to align with the new goal of moving on by visualising how you would feel if you have attained it. Once you have decided that it is important for you to make a change, proceed to the next step.

3. Let go of the resistance to change. Click here for more information on releasing resistance through emotional healing.

 

Let Go of All That No Longer Serves You

Learning to let go of resistance to change is just a start. When we release by letting go of the old, we clear the space for new miracles to happen. It is a great way to start each moment anew!

Let go of resistance life lesson

Love and Abundance Always,

 

 

Your Thoughts Please

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Have you experienced a resistance to change? How do you deal with a resistance to change? Please share in the comments below.

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Evelyn

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Elle Sommer - January 17, 2017 Reply

Resistance surely is a powerful block to our experiencing our greatest life Evelyn. Your story of the train and the bus is so typical of unconscious resistance at work. It’s almost as though our brain says we like things the way they are…whilst our spirit says…grow…reach out…be more. I know I’d rather have my spirit in charge of the actions I take.

Thanks for your wise words. 🙂

[Reply]

Evelyn Reply:

Elle,

I love what you said about having the spirit take charge of actions. Awesome!

Love,
Evelyn

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Cathy Taughinbaugh - January 17, 2017 Reply

Lovely post on change and how we can resist it, Evelyn. It can often feel more safe to stay in our comfort zone, even when things aren’t going well, or it is obvious that change is needed. Fear holds us back from changing our lives to trying something new. Your article is a great reminder to be open to change and the great benefit it could bring to our lives. Thank you!

[Reply]

Evelyn Reply:

Cathy, glad that you have enjoyed the article 🙂

Thank you too!

Love,
Evelyn

[Reply]

Debbie Hampton - January 18, 2017 Reply

Very informative post, Evelyn. I was not familiar with secondary gain. Makes so much sense. I often put off changes I need to make because of the initial time investment to learn a different way. I’m doing that right now. I want to start using a social media scheduler. I know it will save time in the end, but I keep putting off starting because of the initial learning curve. I’ll have to think about what the secondary gain is.

[Reply]

Evelyn Reply:

Debbie,

I’m glad to know that you’ve learnt something new here. Yes, secondary gain can be the very reason that keeps us stuck; even though it is probably better for us to get going. All the best!

Love,
Evelyn

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Sandra Pawula - January 18, 2017 Reply

I see resistance to change coming up often in my life. But just as you point out, Evelyn, when I let go some wonderful new possibilities came my way. So I’m get more flexible, little by little.

[Reply]

Evelyn Reply:

Hi Sandy,

Yes, it does involve patience with one self. But the more we let go, the easier it gets over time. Indeed, we become more and more willing to be flexible.

Love,
Evelyn

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