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30 Reasons Why You Need to Build Self-Confidence

build self confidence

On a scale of 1-10, how much self confidence would you say that you have? You rate 1 if you have extremely low self-confidence and 10 if you have high self confidence. Avoid putting too much thinking into the rating process, the score should come up intuitively.

“Believe in yourself! Have faith in your abilities! Without a humble but reasonable confidence in your own powers you cannot be successful or happy.”- Norman Vincent Peale

self confidence love art journal

There are many everyday signs of low self confidence. It happens when you have little trust, cannot make decisions on your own and are constantly caught in a sense of helplessness. Invariably, your attitude towards life is poor.

Should your self confidence be low, it shows up in your awkwardness in social settings. You may constantly look at the ground, quiver in anxiety and keep apologising for yourself in front of others. One client who came to see me last week about her low self-confidence kept shaking and shifting her legs nervously for a whole one hour.

Should you have rated yourself with a low score on the scale, then you may want to build your confidence. When you have great self confidence, you will naturally feel better about yourself. Others will also pay more attention to you because you become attractive, fun and joyful.

Self confidence is a fundamental certainty in who you are, and therefore, you become sure of what you do and have to offer to others. You have faith in your own ability to handle whatever life throws at you. When you have great self confidence, you radiate with a glow on your face. Some people even call it as the “X-factor”. Shifting more positively from a place of low confidence, you can expect to experience the breakthrough in success you have been hoping for.

Reasons Why You Need to Build Self Confidence

The following is a list of 30 reasons on why you may want to consider building your self confidence. Ask yourself if you would like to enjoy any one of the following benefits:-

1. Wake up everyday and look forward to the start of a brand new day;
2. Eliminate negative self-talk;
3. Strike up a conversation with ease with a stranger;
4. Able to make decisions independently, without having to call your friends for their opinions all the time;
5. Ask for a deserving pay raise;
6. Less prone to shyness;
7. Reduce oversensitivity and less likely to be self-conscious;
8. No more constant apologies for your mistakes, failures and imperfections, which annoys and irritates others;
9. Able to receive praise, gifts and compliments;
10. Attract more successful people who become more willing to support you in your growth;
11. Spread joy by becoming the life of a party;
12. Trust your spouse, partner, family members and everyone around you;
13. Able to be more authentic because you are open to revealing more of who you really are to others;
14. Not afraid of letting others know about your mistakes, failures and imperfections;
15. Be able to laugh at yourself even though you look stupid, have failed or made a mistake that you should not have;
16. Not take excessive offence when others criticise you;
17. Gain respect for your ideas (even if you have little technical or specialised knowledge at first);
18. Increase your ability to pick yourself up after a set-back;
19. Able to give public presentations;
20. Achieve better performance scores because you are able to tell yourself: “I can do it”;
21. Avoid collapsing easily in situations of stress;
22. Better able to deal with all kinds of fears such as fear of rejection, fear of the unknown, fear of abandonment, and so on;
23. Improve your leadership;
24. Increase your popularity;
25. Have more courage to deal with challenges;
26. Willingness to take on new adventures;
27. Attract better opportunities due to your positive energy;
28. Be grounded in your values;
29. Be happy overall;
30. Love your life!

Build Self Confidence

A number of my clients have reported of how low self-confidence has been disruptive to their lives. I understand what they have been going through. It has been the same for me in the early years of my life too. I was miserable mostly. As a parent now, I am also determined to help my children build self confidence with positive affirmations.

There is a balance that you need to strike, however. Excessive self-confidence can be unhealthy. It happens when your confidence rests on your ego. This, no longer, is confidence and on the extreme, causes you to become narcissistic. In fact, narcissism means that you pretty much operate out of fear.

Just imagine life as a stage and you are an actor/actress on this stage. What role would you like to play? A confident person with loads of charisma, charm and courage or a person who is stuck in negativity and cannot project the self well? Would you like to feel more empowered?

“If you have no confidence in self, you are twice defeated in the race of life.” – Marcus Garvey

Well, the good news is that it is possible to build self confidence. To begin with, you are not born with low self confidence. It is not a birth defect or genetic failure that you cannot do anything about. There are steps that you can take to help yourself. If you would like to build self confidence by addressing your issues at root causes, contact me for your questions.

Wishing you a life of success, love and happiness,

evelyn lim signature
Author. Adventurer. Life Coach.

Share Your Thoughts on How to Build Self Confidence

What experiences do you have and what life lessons have you learned from building self-confidence? Do share.

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Evelyn

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Vidya Sury - March 1, 2012 Reply

Those are a great set of 30 points, Evelyn! You are right about cultivating self-confidence in children. Even normally confident children seem to lose it at the most unexpected moments. It only takes a harsh word or a stern look to upset them and make them forget their strength.

Building self-confidence opens up the door of a happy life.

Great post!

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Evelyn Reply:

Hi Vidya,

It’s great that you agree about cultivating self-confidence in children. They can certainly achieve much more with greater self-confidence.

Love and abundance always,
Evelyn

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CARLOS CARDENAS - March 2, 2012 Reply

A HUMBLE SELF CONFIDENT PERSON HAS THE MAKINGS OF A STRONG LEADER AND A HAPPY INDIVIDUAL.

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Evelyn Reply:

Hi Carlos,

You make a great point about self-confidence tampered with humility!

Love and abundance always,
Evelyn

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Galen Pearl - March 3, 2012 Reply

Unlike my younger years, I would say I’m pretty high on the confidence scale at this point in my life. Some of that comes with age, I think.

I love this quote from Bruce Lee, which I just quoted on another blog today! In response to an interviewer’s question about whether he was really “that good,” he replied, “If I say yes, you will think I’m arrogant. If I say no, you’ll know I’m lying.” Bruce Lee knew all about humble and honest confidence without being arrogant.

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Evelyn Reply:

Hi Galen,

Oh yes, it has been the same for me. Some of the self-confidence comes with age.

Thanks for sharing the quote from Bruce Lee. Now that was certainly an authentic answer!

Love and abundance always,
Evelyn

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Jason Fonceca - March 4, 2012 Reply

Awesome post, Evelyn. Those are some excellent tangible results that come from having more confidence, and I gave a resounding yes to all 30 points. I love myself, my life, and everybody else. It feels f***ing fantastic.

I’d add that in my experience you also gain access to:

31. Easily sustain eye contact with anyone and everyone regardless of their ‘perceived social status’.

32. Deep internal knowledge of self.

33. Easily filter experiences, focus, and decide.

34. Naturally claim space, expand, and powerful posture + body language.

35. Influence and impact the lives of others by ‘being yourself.’

Interestingly, everyone says “be yourself” and “be confident” but no one tells HOW.

I’ve had a lot of success helping people know themselves and “be who they are” in my life, and I got tired of repeating myself, so I’m about to launch Ryze’s flagship offering: the “How To ‘Be Real’ Blueprint” — it will help with people’s confidence in powerful ways 🙂

[Reply]

Evelyn Reply:

Hi Jason,

Way to go!! Thank you for sharing another 5 points.

I wish you much success on your flagship offering. May it transform lives!!

Abundance always,
Evelyn

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J.D. Meier - March 5, 2012 Reply

I like the way you danced back and forth between the upside of confidence, and the downside of a lack thereof.

I was reading some interesting insight on John Wooden the other day. It was about how he focused on “Always finish” and to trust the process. By focusing on the process, you focus on what you control, and let the rest go.

I think that’s a place where great confidence comes from, if you don’t let yourself down.

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Evelyn Reply:

Hi J.D.,

Thanks for your feedback. Also thanks for sharing about the insight. Yes, confidence has to come from within, what we have the best or most control and management over. We just have to learn to surrender and to give up control.

Abundance always,
Evelyn

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Aileen | Kaizen Vision - March 5, 2012 Reply

Evelyn you are such a strong, important & beautiful voice in this world. It’s important for people to know that confidence can be developed and even if it’d never been there before, it doesn’t mean it can’t start now. You said it brilliantly, “You are not born with low self-confidence. It is not a birth defect or genetic failure that you cannot do anything about. There are steps that you can take to help yourself. ” Too often, people with low self esteem and low self confidence feel it’s their life reality – the way there born.

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Evelyn Reply:

Hi Aileen,

As we age, we become more confident ourselves, allowing us to see clearly that confidence is something that can be learned. If only I knew before, I would have spent more time developing mine. There are just too many advantages to boosting confidence and the time to do so is really now, if one hasn’t gotten started.

Thank you for your lovely feedback. I’m happy to be connected with a radiant person like yourself too:-)

Love and abundance always,
Evelyn

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Katriona - March 7, 2012 Reply

Love this post. I agree that without a healthy confidence in ourselves it is not possible to be really happy or successful. Since working on my self confidence I have noticed that every aspect of my life has improved. For me, at least for now it is something I have to work at every day.

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Tristan - May 19, 2012 Reply

Nice post, I think for self confidence the better thing is speak clear and direct with all people , looking their eyes, lossing our shame

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