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Our Life Journey: Break Free From Limiting Beliefs

Transformation usually occurs when you are able to break free of your limiting beliefs. Limiting beliefs hold you back from being the best that you can be and from being open to unlimited possibilities.


(Photo Credit: Rusty Buckets)

One of the most empowering thing to realize is that your belief system can be changed. Many times, you probably feel as if your beliefs are fixed. You are dead sure that you are right and would stubbornly hold on to them. You feel outraged when someone dares challenge your “truths” and distort your reality. However, what you fail to see is the possibility that your beliefs may be flawed, giving you a false representation than what is truly the case.

Beliefs are essentially made up of thoughts. When you habitually think of the same thoughts and when they become “real” in your mind, they form your beliefs. Beliefs can be positive and empowering; or negative and limiting. Positive beliefs can propel you to greater heights, while negative ones can send you spiraling downwards!

Sadly, most of us, perhaps including yourself, grew up with several limiting beliefs. Perhaps it was that when you were young, you were told that you were lousy at art, music or dance. The beliefs became self fulfilling in a way because you gave up your dream in pursuing any one of these interests. If anything, when you were 5 years old, it was easy to accept what an adult or an authoritative figure tell you.

“People can, and do believe all kinds of utterly idiotic thoughts.” — Quote by L Michael Hall.

What Are Limiting Thoughts and Beliefs

According to a research into beliefs done by Dilts and DeLozier (both NLP innovators and authors), there are 3 main ways that people limit themselves. They are:

Hopelessness. You feel as if there is no hope because you do believe it is possible to achieve anything.

Helplessness. You believe that something is possible but you are not personally capable of achieving it.

Worthlessness. You do not believe that you deserve to attain success whatsoever.

Ask yourself if you have any of these limiting thoughts:

“I am allergic to homework.” (See above photo illustration.)
“It is hard to reach the top”.
“Others can do it better than me.”
“It is difficult to be successful.”
“Trying something new is too scary.”
“It’s impossible to lose weight.”
“I am just not genetically wired to be creative.”
“I am unattractive and cannot attract a good man (or woman) into my life.”

You are a victim in life, when you refused to let go of your negative thoughts. In the face of a financial disaster, you believe that you are not worthy of having money. When you find yourself with no friends, your perception is that “no one loves me” or that “it is hard to make friends”. When you encounter problems at work, you say that “I am not good enough”. (More examples of mental viruses that prevent you from attaining success can be found here.)

On a more horrifying scale, terrorists were motivated by their beliefs, to kill and die with others, by hijacking and crashing two American aeroplanes into the Twin Towers on 11 September 2001. And it was the belief that terrorism must be defeated at all costs that prompted President Bush to respond by attacking Iraq and Afghanistan.

How Are Beliefs Formed?

– Childhood Imprints. The imprint stage is usually up to 7 years of age. Major events can affect your view of the world.

– The environment in which you grew up. Your parents, your school and the community that you are exposed to play a part in shaping your belief system. How you encounter difficulties now is largely determined by the stories that you have been told as a child.

– Modelling. You may unconsciously take on the beliefs of someone you deeply admire. If the model in your life says so, then it must be so.

– Significant Experiences. You may go through certain life-altering experiences that shape your beliefs. If the experiences turn out to be triumphs, you are likely to believe that anything is possible. If the experiences are horrid ones and your attitude is negative, you are likely to adopt a lot of disempowering thoughts and fears.

A Story On Beliefs

Perhaps one of the most-told story about the power of beliefs was provided by Abraham Maslow. A patient refused to eat because he believed that he was a corpse. In exasperation, the pyschiatrist finally asked him if corpses bled. The patient said that he did not believe so.

The psychiatrist then proceeded to prick him with a pin, after asking his permission to. At which point, the patient started to bleed. In amazement, he declared, “Wow…corpses do bleed after all!”

Why Do You Need To Break Free From Limiting Beliefs

Explained using NLP terms, beliefs are perceptual filters. They determine how you view the world. They also act as confirmations in your reality of the environment. However, problems arise when they are flawed, distorted or steeped in unhelpful ways. Only when you become consciously aware about your assumptions, can there be the possibility of you breaking free.


 

Whatever makes up your beliefs, becomes true for you. Thoughts that are disempowering wears you down and puts you in a constant struggle. Instead of a smooth easy path, you find yourself facing more difficulties than others. With limiting beliefs, you are thwarting the process of personal growth for yourself. According to the Law of Attraction, it will also be hard for you to attract the outcomes that you desire, since you are not in alignment with your inner Being (and also, the Universe).

It is crucial that you deal with these self sabotaging thoughts. When the beliefs are deep rooted, they are usually in the form of black or white thinking. This simply means that you think in terms of extreme pole ends such as “should” and “should never”, “can” and “cannot”; and “a piece of cake” and “way impossible”. For myself, my pet words have been “never” and “always”, which limited me in several situations in the past.

The life that you create is largely determined by your beliefs. When you hold on to your beliefs that you are not capable of achieving something, you do not try hard enough and sabotage your efforts in some way. You also prevent yourself from finding evidence to disprove them.

What you perhaps do not realize often enough is that when you do learn how to do the things that you initially have no faith over, your beliefs start to change. Suddenly, from a feeling of failure and hopelessness, you feel more positive and empowered! The paradigm shift that you experience can be a very liberating experience! And when you do have this shift, you experience a Oneness with your inner Being. You are in alignment with who you really are. The Law of Attraction works in your favor and best at this stage!

“That a man can change himself, improve himself, re-create himself, control his environment, and master his own destiny is the conclusion of every mind who is wide-awake to the power of right thought in constructive action.”
— Quote by Larsen

Be Open To Change

Let go of your rigid beliefs. Be flexible. Open yourself up to more possibilities.

Your belief system is not cast in stone. Recognize that it can be changed. Consider stepping out of your comfort zone and make room for more a more positive and healthy belief system. When someone challenges your beliefs and instead of feeling righteous or the need to defend your stand rightaway, take a step backwards. Question your beliefs. Ask yourself if your beliefs are flawed. Put yourself in the other person’s shoes and see if you may have unconsciously assumed certain things.

Admittedly, certain beliefs may have served the purpose of protecting you from harm while you were young. However they may not be thoroughly relevant now. An appropriate question to ask yourself: Is the belief still a useful one for you?

Here is a good illustration. In your younger days, your family may have taught you the virtues of hoarding because there was never enough food to pass around. Into adulthood, you continue to hold on to the belief that resources are scarce, even thought it may not be truly the case right now. You become selfish and miserly, always counting the pennies. This feeling of scarcity also affects your ability to give love, because you suffer from a sense of lack in your life.

If you find yourself being held back by your limiting thoughts, recognise that it is possible to change your belief patterns. In fact, the more tenaciously you hold on to a belief, the more it signifies something valuable that you may need to let go of.

Your beliefs are made up of thoughts, which are essentially energy. In metaphysical terms, they are statements of desires to to the Universe. As a human being, you originate thought in a creative process. So think of it this way: If you can create thoughts, you can definitely change them. It would be useful to think and behave in a way that is in alignment with your inner Being. Your energy vibration shifts, allowing you to effectively attract the outcomes that you so desire, with much less struggle.

“Within you right now is the power to do things you never dreamed possible. This power becomes available to you just as soon as you can change your beliefs.” — Quote by Dr Maxwell Maltz

My Life Journey and Yours: Transcend Early Limiting Beliefs

At an early point in my personal development journey, I wanted to seek more clarity about my life’s purpose. While I already knew that my purpose was to be in the area of self help, I was hoping for clear answers on where my path was leading to. A motivational speaker? An author to a life-changing book? What? I wanted to know exactly what the future held for me.

Then, I got this revelation from my spiritual guides: To Know the Purpose Now is to Defeat the Purpose. The message, it seems, is that my purpose is to be found in walking my life journey itself. I am already on the right path; part of what I need to do is to transcend my early limitations. It appears that I am here to recognize my magnificence and to explore my divinity.

What an interesting insight! With this answer, I am pretty sure it would apply to you too – Break Free from Your Limiting Beliefs and Work Towards Being One with Your Inner Being!

Additional Recommended Reading:
Travelling Tips For A Healthier Life Journey

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Evelyn

Jonathan Mead - May 29, 2008

You illustrated lucidly the path to change. It starts with awareness and then knowing the areas that need to be changed. Where they originated and how they became a part of your belief system. Once you know that, you can go to work changing them, that’s the hard part. It takes diligence and chutzpa to change your thoughts. Start with little agreements that you’ve made with yourself and work your way up. This quote is my favorite:

Our doubts and fears are not true in themselves.
Our deepest beliefs about ourselves and the nature of our world are not true in themselves,
but our thinking makes them true in our experience.
We can change out thinking and change even our deepest core beliefs.
We shape our reality by the investment of our thoughts.

Akemi - Yes to Me - May 29, 2008

“To Know the Purpose Now is to Defeat the Purpose. The message, it seems, is that my purpose is to be found in walking my life journey itself.”
Great point. I often discuss life purpose on my blog, as you know, and yet I don’t define it in “My life purpose is _______.” format. I think it is more important to live the purpose, rather than get a quick answer and done with it.

Scott - May 29, 2008

The starting point of any change in life is to be, as you suggest, open to the possibility of change.

Our beliefs can definitely act as a protection, or security blanket, around us. If we perceive the events of life in a way we have become accustomed to, we feel we know the world.

Even, if this is a negative belief, at least, it’s a negative belief we are used to.

This is safe for us because “trying something new is too scary”. However, when we commit to positive change, we need to be willing to do scary things- and that can be very daunting.

I like Jonathan’s idea of making little agreements with yourself. Anything that breaks the journey up into more manageable chunks is excellent. That way, little successes act as positive reinforcements to keep us going.

Thank you an interesting description of how beliefs can be changed.

Evelyn - May 29, 2008

@Jonathan, thanks for sharing such a wise quote. “It takes diligence and chutzpa to change your thoughts”…I can’t agree more to this!

@Akemi, thanks for sharing your thoughts. Life is indeed a journey and not a destination. Most of us prefer to know our end goal; not knowing what it is can force us to walk the path and learn all there is about the little details.

@Scott, I can most certainly identify with “trying something new is too scary”. This was how I felt just before making a commitment to writing self help articles. I had been a writer on a whole range of topics but never on inspiring and motivating ones. Amazingly, I’ve learnt a fair bit so far! Yes…little successes will most certainly help boost our morale.

Our Life Journey: Break Free From Limiting Beliefs - May 29, 2008

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Vered - May 29, 2008

Self-sabotage has been a major issue for me. I was labeled a certain way when I was a kid, and it is very hard to break free from those labels. This is really helpful. Thank you.

Wayne - May 29, 2008

I have always kept myself from succeeding in the past by allowing myself to indulge in things that I probably shouldn’t, thus reducing my chances of success. I won’t go into what…

This post has given me a different perspective on some things, so thank you!

Karen Lynch-Live the Power - May 29, 2008

I think that we all have times of limiting beliefs but if we put them up to scrutiny we realize how ridiculous they often are. Becoming aware of our limiting beliefs is often enough to help us break free.
Excellent post!

Evelyn - May 29, 2008

@ Vered, I can most definitely identify with that. Without breaking free, it would not be possible to explore our own magnificence. I’ve experienced much liberation and connection with my inner Being since and I believe this is available to anyone!

@Wayne, thanks so much for your feedback. You have made my day. It’s nice to know that I have helped in some way. It would seem that I can’t do a better job if I have not myself gone through my own struggles.

Michele Dart - May 29, 2008

i really liked the info wish some was on video, kind of dry full of facts, sounds like my paraliminal cds, cool, love this stuff, michele

Self Help - May 29, 2008

I enjoyed the useful information you have provided on your post. I do hope to read more post in the future that would be just as helpful material to keep my mind always active with this reading. Thanks
http://www.jobzillia.com/career_development

Shilpan | successsoul.com - May 29, 2008

Evelyn,

I read this story from a book by Joel Olsteen. A guy killed himself thinking that he was freezing to death as he was locked up in a freezer. Next day, investigators found out that freezer was not working for a long time. It as at the room temp.

Shilpan

Mags | Woo-Woo Wisdom - May 30, 2008

Your articles are always so thorough and well-written, Evelyn. This was great. I enjoyed your personal example at the end and would love to hear more about your own journey and what you’ve learned along the way.

Ask the Readers: How Do You Motivate Yourself? (& Book Giveaway) | PickTheBrain | Motivation and Self Improvement - May 30, 2008

[…] Our Life Journey: Break Free From Limiting Beliefs […]

Tim Brownson - May 30, 2008

This is kind of spooky because I just btoke away from writing a post for next week based around this topic and stumbled straight onto this one.

A very clear and articulate explanation of beliefs and why they can either help or hinder us. One of the first things necessary with successful self development is to accept that everything you know could be wrong without any ‘yeh buts…’

Evelyn - May 30, 2008

@ Michele, noted. I try to cater to a wide range of taste in terms of reading preferences. My site has articles that are on the lighter end too 🙂

@Shilpan, oh yes…I recall the same story too!

@Mags, thank you for your lovely feedback. Sure…I’d be happy to share any insights wherever relevant!

@Tim, once upon a time, I would have pooh poohed what you just shared about your intention or dis-intention. But since becoming more aware about the idea of synchronicity, I have to admit that I am swayed by my own personal experiences of receiving responses and messages out of nowhere. Nice tip you have there about assuming that everything we know, as wrong and to consider them for change!

Kendra E Thornbury - May 30, 2008

I love synchronicity; I’ve called it, “a kiss from the universe”. The universe wants us to succeed and delightful signs along the way show us we are in alignment. I just wrote about beliefs on my blog this week. One of the things I shared is, ‘beliefs are stories repeated over and over again. They are affirmations that we have given our confidence and trust to’. We get to decide if our beliefs serve what we desire! Thanks for being a part of creating the pathway for people to know this power.

In joy and abundance,
Kendra 🙂

http://www.lessonsinlawofattraction.blogspot.com/

Erek Ostrowski - May 30, 2008

I think many people fail to see their limiting beliefs as such. I know I’ve been there. It takes some work to embrace the notion that my perception of the world is just that…my perception.

You have to realize that your thoughts and beliefs have something to do with how the world occurs to you, in order to see that some of those beliefs are very limiting!

Thanks for the post!
Erek

Work Post - May 30, 2008

Thanks for the post, it’s helpful. There’s many ways to create barriers in your life but also plenty of ways to knock them down!

Mary@GoodlifeZen - May 31, 2008

This is an impressive article – deeply felt and well written. What made me sit and think was reading about the 3 mental pitfalls: hopelessness, helplessness, and worthlessness.

Whilst I think it’s a great idea to encourage people not to get stuck there, I think it’s also true that many people can’t actually climb out of those places by will alone.

I remember a woman who came to see me secretly because she wanted to escape from her violent husband. She managed to plan her escape right down to the last details. But at the last moment, she couldn’t find the strength to do it – it had been beaten out of her over the years. I went through this 3 times with her. Finally she managed to escape.

A week later her husband sought her out at work and said he would abduct, rape and kill her if she didn’t come back home. She did.

Evelyn - May 31, 2008

@Kendra, how beautifully you put it about synchronocity..”the kiss of universe”. I’m hoping to be more watchful about such signs myself!

@Erek, totally agreed! Everyone’s map of the same terrain differs and we should also not place judgement on each other’s.

@Mary, what a sad story you shared. There is probably a lot of negative “anchoring” (an NLP term) done by this woman’s husband. It will be hard for her to be free, if she does not reverse that.

Melissa - June 12, 2008

Thanks for your post on creating a better life’s journey thru positive thinking. The law of attraction goes well with any self-help book. Positive thinking is what led me to find Shelly Anderson. An author who wrote “Dealing With Divas”. My work enviornment is wonderful now.

Justin - June 13, 2008

Great post. You do include interesting facts about the subconscious mind and how it works. Do check out http://www.subconscious-mind.org, they have a whole host of interesting and helpful articles. Also,maybe you can use some tips here.

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Liara Covert - February 1, 2009

Some human beings believe they have multiple life purposes at different life stages. If you choose to believe your life purpose is evolving with you, then your position differs from someone who feels grounded in one thing.

Evelyn - February 2, 2009

Liara, thanks for sharing your perspective. I’ve been reading that most of us have a primary life purpose. So your sharing on multiple life purposes is definitely an interesting one for me.

Terri Klapperich - February 23, 2009

I’m so happy that I found your blog. I love your take on these limiting beliefs and I am so happy when I find someone who shares these same feelings as me.

I also teach this concept of releasing the limiting beliefs. I always say, “The more you let go, the more goodness can flow.”

KeithI - February 28, 2010

Evelyn-

This is my first time to ever seek some kind of guidence and advice for all the unhappiness I have kept inside of me over the years. When I was in my childhood years I was always the runt or the outcast of the group, the fat chubby kid with the classes who never measured up to the rest of my group of friends (they were all skinny, insynced with one another cause all their parents had more money than my family, and all had an older or younger brother as for I had only sisters). Ever since my childhood and teenage years I’ve struggled time after time to do whatever I can to fit in but no matter how hard I tried I always fell short and felt not good enough. Now that I am 27 soon to be 28 I have become more sucessful in my job and such. I am no longer the fat chubby kid, I actually grew up to be a good looking guy but I never fully accept that I am. Whenever I see someone that is born genetically good looking with out having to try to look good I get down and I tell myself you ugly. Even when it comes to relationships. I try too hard to please the other and feel like I am walking all the time on pins and needles. And if things don’t work out, I blame myself for the split and question myself to death on What is wrong with me for them to change and to easily exit out of the relationship in which I can’t seem to get off the road. Because of the stress and anxiety of having to be carefull on what decisions or actions I must take to seek approval to feel good about myself. I’ve been through some traumatic break ups, loss of job when the economy crashed which caused me to loose a lot of everything I worked so hard to create has tumbled to the ground leaving me with nothing to show for. For the past year now I’ve been rebuilding myself starting all over again trying my hardest to make changes but I can’t seem to get around it. Then I isolate myself off from others besides co workers and I lose all social confidence because I am to worried as to what they think of me or what they’ve heard about me. I am body conscience, I have a good in shape defined body but once again when ever I see someone better I look at myself and my perception totally changes for the worse. Most recent, a guy asked me out and it really shifted my confidence to a really positive aspect and I was doing things for myself I have never done before in a long time and it felt really good. He would bring me up sky high with compliments and affectionate sayings that made me become comfortable to him but then shifted and told me that he really liked me but he thinks I’m too clingy. Now leary of what to now beleive and not to believe in what he says he now has changed his priority towards me. He use to text me or want me to stay the night with him all the time but now i’m the one having to get a word out of him and haven’t been asked to stay the night since. And now I sit here wondering what I did or what has happen to make him change his feelings towards me because has not given me any feedback or reasons too and now I’m stuck in a rut again. I really want to stop getting hung up on letting others view points control my life.

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