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Category Archives for "Self Love"

How to love yourself

How EFT Tapping for Inner Child Healing Works

Applying EFT Tapping for Inner Child

EFT tapping for inner child healing involves using our fingertips to tap on specific meridian points on the face and body for addressing childhood wounds. As our physical reactions today could be tied to issues that stem from childhood, applying EFT is effective because unhealed emotions can get trapped and the body keeps the score. Even though the past is long gone, it is possible to heal in the now by applying tapping.

Download this resource page on EFT Tapping for Your Inner Child.

Women often approach me for help to deal with their stress. Their stress can be anything from dealing with a money or work-related challenge, relationship problems, not feeling “good enough”, low self-love to anxiety issues. They would have been holding on to anger, worry, insecurity and frustration for a long time before asking for help. (Understandably, most of us face resistance with getting assistance.)

Some would share about experiencing the same repetitive themes of abandonment and rejection in their lives. Thus, when we get together in a session, we usually begin by patiently peeling off the layers to determine the root cause of their issues. Invariably, we would find out that these issues stem from their past – primarily in childhood. As a result, we are led to working on healing their inner child.

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How to Heal Childhood Wounds: 4 Common Patterns

How to Heal Childhood Wounds

A childhood wound is an emotional pain or a negative belief that a part of us internalised due to a traumatic past event or the relationship we had with our parents or caregivers when we were young. 

As I have discovered, unresolved childhood wounds can adversely affect the quality of life in our adult years. Indeed, they have an impact on our  personalities, beliefs, career choices, and relationships. We can also be  passing on our childhood wounds to the future generations. 

Our wounded child is acting up if we often find ourselves in self-sabotage, making poor choices or having over-the-top reactions to triggers. She or he is crying for attention of unhealed emotions. If we choose to ignore our wounded child, we can be stuck for years. 

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Self-Love Healing: 7 Signs that Your Inner Child Needs Help

How to recognise that you need self-love healing to address the needs of your inner child?

Or if your current struggles are connected to a wounded inner child?

According to psychologists, every adult has an inner child.

Your wounded inner child is that part of you that never grew up, even though you are now an adult. She may be your younger self as a newborn or a 6 year old. If she is wounded, it means that she has been holding on to hurt, disappointment, pain or any negative emotions, and her needs have not been met.

If the needs of your inner child remain unresolved, it can potentially affect your mental well-being and relationships. Thus, inner child healing is a crucial part to deep psychological work. It involves the spiritual process of reconnecting to the wounded elements of your inner child.

Here are 7 indicative signs that you need self-love healing which involves “meeting” your inner child…

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What is Wounded Child Healing

Wounded Child Healing

Have you come across the term “wounded child healing” and wonder if it is something that you may need?

Well, I’d like to offer a brief description of what I understand “wounded child healing” to be.

[Note: I’m re-publishing this article as it is still relevant even after 10 years ;-)]

What is Wounded Child Healing

The “wounded child” is an archetype which contains damaged or negative emotional patterns of our youth. It may help to improve your understanding if we can draw reference from someone famous, like Michael Jackson. After all, no one tells the story of the wounded child better than him. The clues are obvious in the lyrics to his song “Childhood”….

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How to Love and Accept Yourself Even if You Feel Ugly

Love and Accept Your Body

You may find it hard to love and accept yourself if you believe and feel that you are ugly. Hate to look at yourself in the mirror? Have challenges with attracting a soul mate or your dream job because you think that your looks is in the way?

Read on to find out how you can love and accept yourself anyway. I am updating this post with more tips as I am discovering that this is an issue that afflicts a number of the clients I have been working with.

Through this post, I hope to stress the importance of self-love despite having an appearance that you may perceive as “flawed”. When you have a negative perception about yourself, your self-confidence comes down. This ultimately affects your ability to achieve your highest potential and also with manifesting what you want in life.

In fact, you could be aware that how you look to yourself matters more than what other people are saying.  Whether or not you are truly “ugly” can be an issue that is perceived or real. Some women can sweat over a mole or having wrinkle lines. Others may have features that could be deemed ugly by society’s standards. Whatever the case may be, you face difficulties with getting past your looks, no matter how others may assure you.

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How to Free Yourself from Body Image Issues

Have you ever wondered why you may continue to have body image issues, in spite of consciously knowing that you need to love yourself?

Body image is how you see yourself when you look in the mirror or when you picture yourself in your mind. It is what you think and feel about your physical body. Many of us internalize messages during our childhood. These messages can  lead to either positive or negative body image. Having a healthy body image is an important part for practising self-love. 

While most of us do not suffer from eating disorders caused by poor body image issues, we have the tendency to be overly critical in how we look. Chances are, if you are like the vast majority, you’d find yourself constantly thinking “I am flawed” or I don’t look good enough”. Thoughts like these can have a negative impact on self-confidence and your ability to shine!

There was a day when I was rudely awakened to why it could be so challenging for women to stop beating themselves up over their appearance. It happened when I was reading an article about Lady Gaga who encouraged thousands to embrace their bodies after hitting back at critics who called her fat. The article was in the pull-out Friday segment of our main newspaper. The writer then went on to rounding up 5 celebrity women who were proud of their curves.

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7 Tips to Overcome Perfectionism

let go of perfectionism

Were you taught to believe that striving for perfection is a worthy goal since young? Perhaps, from the time when you were a child, you learnt that perfect scores are ideal. If you did not, you would be penalised even if it was just one mistake out of every ten correct ones. And so, you have been conditioned to believe that you need to be perfect – that is, without a flaw, failure or weakness.

What you crave for is approval, in the strive for perfection. The shadow side is the fear of rejection that you hold.  You fear being ridiculed and not accepted for who you are if you are perceived as less than perfect.

Note that there is nothing wrong with wanting to produce your best work or hoping to present yourself in a good light. However, having a perfectionistic streak can have negative consequences. You are in the energy of “striving”, in seeking to meet a certain standard; failing which, you would shred yourself to pieces. The thought of imperfection makes you feel not-whole, incomplete, discontented and ill. The emotion that you experience is shame. There is a strong sense of disapproval towards the self.

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How To Ground Yourself In 7 Ways

ground yourself

A reader to my blog posed me this question: How to Ground Yourself. Well, it can be accomplished in a few ways. I would like to share my ideas in this article.

(Update: I’m republishing this post once again as the ideas are timeless and as I am still being asked “how to ground yourself” today.)


What Is Grounding?

Whenever I get a question about grounding, I am aware that mostly, my clients refer to spiritual grounding.
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7 Signs of Inferiority Complex

inferiority complex signs

Learn to recognise signs of inferiority complex. An inferiority complex is a state whereby you persistently believe and feel that you are not able to measure up to others. It is a sign of low self-esteem. The thought behind an inferiority complex is “I am not good enough”.

“The greater the feeling of inferiority that has been experienced, the more powerful is the urge to conquest and the more violent the emotional agitation.” – Alfred Adler

At least 95% of people have at one point or another encounter thoughts and feelings of inadequacy. However, you are said to have an inferiority complex should you constantly compare yourself with others. You see yourself as being in second place or falling short. Consequently, you feel poorly about yourself.

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How To Love Yourself In 17 Ways

How to Love Yourself in 17 Ways

How to love yourself when you don’t know how?

It’s exactly what it was like when I first started realising that I needed to love myself but have no idea where to start.

I felt embarrassed that I was clueless and that I should already know this stuff. “How to love yourself” sounded like something that everyone ought to know from young. You see…by the time I became aware about the importance of self-love, I was already an adult, married and with young children.

I even found it surprising (and even laughable) to realise that I was clueless.

Surely, I should be some kind of an expert? After all, as I recalled, relationship matters had been a key focus since my younger days. My attention was on dating, partying and looking for a potential partner. Over cups of latte, I would have long conversations with my girlfriends about relationship issues. As things turned out, I found myself failing miserably in my early relationships. I was in and out of love.

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