Improve Your Relationship with Money: From Dating to Developing Intimacy

How do you begin to improve your relationship with money? 

In this updated post,  I’d like to share a way that is easy to understand and relate to. This update also covers one of the topics that I am teaching in my Relationship with Money Course.  

What can be helpful is to think of a romantic relationship. And in every romantic relationship, there are stages. So, consider the different phases that a romantic relationship will go through; that is from dating to developing love and true intimacy. Next, draw on the understanding to apply it in the context of your relationship with money.

As you begin, here are 3 important reminders:

1. You already have an existing relationship with money, whether you have been previously aware of it or not.

2. You can’t exactly “divorce” money. You need to accept money, being a medium of exchange, as part of your life.

3. You will have to make it work somehow.

Improve Your Relationship with Money: The Dating Phase

Remember how exciting it can be when you are in the dating phase of a relationship?

Well, this is the phase when you are eager to find out more about the other party. You hope to get to know what your partner is like? What are his/her interests? How do you attract him/her into your life?

So, begin to date money. Go on long walks. It is when you start to ask fundamental questions:
– Who or what is this money energy?
– What is the cause of your sleepless nights?
– Who is this that leaves you hankering for more when its absence is felt?
– Why do you need money?

In other words, dedicate this phase to learning about what money is, how the Universe works and the Law of Attraction.

Improve Your Relationship with Money: The Doubt Phase

Somewhere along the way, doubts start to creep in.

From previous experiences, you begin to doubt if committing to more dates is ever going to work. You have not had a successful relationship with it before. Think about all the disappointments! How is it going to be different this time?

The opposite of doubt is trust. Trust means that you give yourself the permission to pursue an understanding of money. You trust that an understanding of money does not necessarily lead to an obsession of it. You can choose to take charge! It’s what you want. You want to improve your relationship with money. And so, you are willing to give a healthy and balanced attention to money, including your attitude towards it.

Improve Your Relationship with Money: The Struggle Phase

Both the doubt and struggle phases usually occur quickly after the blissful courtship period. The honeymoon period is clearly over! You are questioning more. This is when you start to confront each other about your differences.

Ironing out conflicts is key during this period.

What are your beliefs that are not congruent if you are hoping to attract money?
What is the money story that you are telling?
Is fear ruining your relationship?

This is the phase that calls for letting go of your fears and bringing more unconditional love in! If you have been mistaken before, you get to work on resolving conflicts. You clear your negative emotions and remove your limiting beliefs around it. You come to terms with it. You shift into better-feeling thoughts.

“Love is a verb. It’s an action requiring your involvement and your active participation. You cannot sit back and expect the world will serve it to you. You cannot expect that your relationship will continue to provide love while you’re not putting in any effort. Love has to be earned and must be continually fought for.” Stephen Covey

Improve Your Relationship with Money: The Commitment & Intimacy Phase

What is it like to be in a committed relationship?

This phase may appear to be boring. It is when things get repetitious and practical. It is when you dive into details.

The commitment phase includes learning how to manage money. It involves matters such as savings, investing, budgeting and so on. It means having to study and finding better ways to grow your wealth. You may also be consulting expert advice.

This phase is not necessarily dull when you start to reap rewards. You are developing true intimacy. You are learning how to manage your emotional reactions to money. With improved communication, you now speak the language of money. There is ease and confidence in the relationship. It is how you are able to raise the vibration of your relationship with money. It is bringing you plenty of wedded bliss! You are attracting more and more money energy love!!

Make Money A Loving Friend

True love is about growing as a couple, learning about each other and never giving up on each other.

It’s the same when it comes to working on  improving your relationship with money. Develop greater understanding as you go through the different phases from dating to developing intimacy. As it is often said, Energy flows where focused attention goes. When you give a balanced attention to money, it naturally flows into your life.

It is up to you to create the relationship that you want. Be a great friend or partner and stand to profit from the healthy partnership you have with money! If you want to attract more money, improving your relationship with money is clearly a must.

For next steps, get my starter course to work on improving your relationship with money! 

Love and Abundance Always,

Evelyn Lim

Abundance Life Coach for Women