Self Love Series: Say Yes to Loving Yourself
True self love is a spiritual process. It involves a journey that takes you beyond the self. From conversations with others, I found out that most people have no clear understanding on what self love is about.
Self love is certainly not narcissism. And certainly, it cannot be addressed simply by undertaking self care acts alone. Sure, spending six hours in a spa, having a Reiki healing session done or pampering yourself with foot massages can help. Exercising and eating well is an act of loving your body. All these are nurturing actions that you can take for your inner home.
Not loving yourself can lead to many problems. However, to truly love the self is more than a physical self care action. In fact, deep self-love is to be addressed at a higher level of consciousness. As Albert Einstein said, “you can never solve the problem at the level on which it was created”.
My Journey of Self Love
I wrote the article How to Love Yourself in 17 Ways three years ago. At the time of writing the article, I have reached a comfortable enough space to declare that “yes, I do love myself”. And for three years, I have been receiving emails daily written by strangers from all over the world in response to the article. Using the simple calculation of 365 emails per year for 3 years, it would be more than 1,000 emails that I have responded to.
Still, up till a few months ago, I felt that something was missing in my understanding. Here’s the thing. Even in the last few years, there were occasions when I had found myself reverting to old patterns of self blame, guilt and rejection. Not only that, during these times, I would put myself up in the Hall of Shame because I thought that it would constitute a heinous crime for someone from the personal development field, such as myself, to go into self-directed anger. (Note the double whammy here!!)
Nonetheless, because I was equipped with self help tools, I would invariably be able to bring myself out from my self-imposed exile. I started to practice more awareness by tuning in, processing and tracking my thoughts and feelings. I wanted to plough through these periods of darkness for an increased understanding. Increasingly, these occasions would get fewer and fewer…..
…..until I feel that I am finally getting it!
I discovered that there was much truth to this saying…
“Be patient toward all that is unsolved in your life. Learn to love the questions themselves, until some distant day, without your knowing, you will have lived into the answers.”
– Rainer Maria Rilke
So here I am, after three long years, announcing the start of my Self Love Series on my blog! In the following weeks (and maybe months), I am hoping to collate and write down my findings. [Update: I have since published a book Self-Love Secrets: How to Love Yourself Unconditionally. Do check it out here >>> ]
Will You Say Yes to Loving Yourself?
Self love lies at the heart of creating a life of abundance. It is the starting point to self mastery. It sums up the process of inner alchemy. More than anything else, self love is a layering process that takes you in reconnecting with the essence of who you are.
All the talk about goal setting, how to be successful and making money quick is best set aside until and unless you have reached a loving reserve inside you. Self love is food for your mind-body-soul, the nourishment that you need even before you can make any meaningful attempt to do anything great or anything at all. You access the beauty, strength, grace and eternal nature that is you.
For self love starvers, it starts with the intention to build a deepening relationship with the self. Obviously, before going on any undertaking, you will need to say yes! It’s just like when you take a marriage oath, you agree with a “I do”.
So here’s what saying yes to loving yourself entails:
a commitment to the self to love unconditionally;
not abandoning the self when under stress or in times of trouble;
agreeing to listen to the self whenever it has grievances and not ignoring its feelings;
trusting the self;
spending time alone without any other noise or distraction; and,
doing whatever you can to build a healthy relationship with the self.
Even if you have already embraced yourself lovingly, there is no harm to declaring your intention. Self-love is, after all, a journey. You reaffirm your commitment to the self by saying “yes”.
Declare Your Intention
Well, don’t just say it silently. Let me know that you are serious about your intention. Here’s what you can do. Either send me (email: abundancetapestry [at] gmail [dot] com) a photo or video of yourself doing the Self Love Sign.
The instructions are:
Use your thumbs and fingers to come together in making the shape of a heart. “Heart” placement is to be at the level of your chest. See my above picture as a sample. Don’t forget to smile and say the words “I love myself” while having the shot taken 🙂
Your submission is an indication of having consented to the use of your photo and/or video clip as part of a collage or a video for my Self Love Awareness initiative.
Share Your Thoughts
So what do you understand by true self love? Would you say that self loving is a spiritual process too? Do let me know if you have or have not reached a space of self loving.
In Loving Abundance Always,
Update – Self Love Secrets: How to Love Yourself Unconditionally
Facing tremendous difficulties with accepting who you are? Learn more about loving yourself holistically – in mind, body and spirit. Click over to purchase a copy of Self-Love Secrets – available as a download by now!
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Evelyn Reply:
April 13th, 2011 at 1:53 pm
Hello Galen,
It is nice to know that I have not been alone LOL! May you experience love for yourself abundantly, unconditionally and truly.
With love,
Evelyn
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