fbpx

Call My Dial-A-Life-Coach Hotline

In case you have been trying to contact me by telephone, please know that I do not usually take calls when I am busy writing. So if you should try calling me, you are going to hear a voice that tells you I am not available. In fact, my latest recorded auto attendant message to my Dial-A-Life-Coach hotline goes like this….

My Dial-A-Life-Coach Hotline

“I am sorry that I am not here to take your call. Should you have an urgent matter, here is what you can do to help yourself –

If you think your life is empty, press 0 nine times.
If you have frustration issues, press 1 repeatedly to infinity.
If you have difficulty making life decisions such as career choices, you may press 2, 3, or 4.
If you are hoping to beg for favors, press 5 and pray hard for response.
If you are feeling stressed, solve this first Call 1-800-[(10x)(13i)^2]-[sin(xy)/2.362x] before proceeding to press 6.
If you are in a state of delusion, press 7 and then wait for your call to be connected to mother ship. Expect to hear telepathic responses by an alien to the questions in your head.
If you are feeling miserable, press 8 lovingly, gently and slowly.
If you cannot remember who you are, you are having amnesia. Just press 9. Then 9 again. Then 9 again.
If you are having relationship issues, you have dialed the wrong number. Call the other party instead and work things out.”

So…take a breath or two before picking up the phone to call my Dial-A-Life-Coach hotline. You’d be lucky if you don’t hit my answering machine 🙂 !

But Seriously…..

The above text is a repost of an adaptation that I had made from an anonymous joke. And just in case you are wondering, I don’t have such a hotline; although I’d be tempted to record the above message if ever I should get one.

Jokes are great for releasing tension, don’t you find? I don’t know about you but I had been dialing up to stress myself. I have a couple of writing datelines that are tight. Just as I am working on tight schedules, other things will crop up on an urgent basis. The result is competing demands for the same time slot.

So if I have been unresponsive lately, please pardon me 🙂 Then again, if you are really hoping to contact me, it’s best to write.

The Telephone of Your Mind

One of my favorite quotes read….

“I keep the telephone of my mind open to peace, harmony, health, love and abundance. Then whenever doubt, anxiety, or fear try to call me, they keep getting a busy signal and soon they’ll forget my number.”
— Edith Armstrong

Do share in the comments below…

1. What is the telephone of your mind dialing to lately? Thoughts of peace and love or thoughts of worry and fear?
2. Also, do you give busy signals to thoughts that are not helpful?

Abundance always,

Facebook Comments

Overcome Fear of Not Good Enough

Download Your Free eBook on 3 Mindset Strategies to Turn Self-Doubt into Confidence When You Subscribe

Did you enjoy this post? Please share it with your friends. Thank you!

Evelyn

Click Here to Leave a Comment Below
Angela Artemis/Poweredbyintuition - July 6, 2011 Reply

Evelyn,
I know that feeling of overwhelm too well! Why do we put ourselves through this? I often wonder if I would be this overwhelmed if just went and took a regular job? I think it’s time to step away and take more time to breath. The work will still be here when we get back, right?

I’m going to have to remove the stress and worry from my speed dial.
I love the idea of giving stress a busy signal. Brilliant!

[Reply]

Evelyn Reply:
July 7th, 2011 at 6:28 pm

Hello Angela,

I suspect that I will be less in overwhelm if I take on a regular job. I believe that part of my problem comes with being interested in a wide range of stuff. So it really comes down to prioritizing to what’s important.

Glad that you like giving worry and other negative emotions and thoughts a busy signal!! When we continually align with better-feeling thoughts, we will indeed manifest for ourselves more positive outcomes.

Take care,
Evelyn

[Reply]

David Stevens - July 6, 2011 Reply

Hi Evelyn,
I love it!
be good to yourself
David

[Reply]

Evelyn Reply:
July 7th, 2011 at 6:29 pm

Hi David,

Thank you 🙂

All the best,
Evelyn

[Reply]

The Vizier - July 7, 2011 Reply

Hi Evelyn,

I love jokes and humour! 😀 Maybe it is because I am serious by nature, but over the years, I have always made it a point to find funny things to read or watch. But since everyone’s preferences is unique, I generally prefer dark and deadpan humour.

As you rightly point out, jokes do help to relieve tension which accumulates easily due to the hectic pace of life. Also, posting a humourous article from time to time does help to spice things up a bit on any blog.

Thank you for sharing this lovely joke! 😀

Irving the Vizier

[Reply]

Evelyn Reply:
July 7th, 2011 at 6:35 pm

Hi Irving,

Thank you for voting for a joke every now and then. I believe that I portray seriousness mostly but I actually enjoy looking at things in a light-hearted manner. Over the years, I acquired the ability to laugh at myself more.

As you’ve said, a joke can help to liven up a blog. It adds to the vibrancy. I look forward to reading jokes on your site too 🙂

Love, live and laugh,
Evelyn

[Reply]

J.D. Meier - July 7, 2011 Reply

Well done.

Two one-liner reminders help me in these scenarios:
1. Focus on what you control, and let the rest go.
2. An old Zen saying, “When it’s cold shiver, when it’s hot sweat.” It helps for the things we don’t control … it’s all about our response.

[Reply]

Evelyn Reply:
July 8th, 2011 at 9:36 am

Hello J.D.,

Thank you for sharing reminders that have helped you. Most certainly, I think it is important to prioritize. As you’ve said, it’s really focusing on the factors that I can have control over.

With love,
Evelyn

[Reply]

Reza - July 8, 2011 Reply

Hi Evelyn

I like the sense of humour behind the answering machine joke. I think the ultimate message is that we shouldn’t take life so seriously after all. We are here to have fun and laugh as much as we can.

The quote from Armstrong is brilliant. I wonder how you manage to find these quotes so relevant to the issue you write about..! Very clever..!!

However, I must emphasis that despite the importance of giving stress a busy signal and being good to ourselves, we should take care not to forget our perhaps so-called duty towards others.

I say this because during the last two weeks I emailed you twice and never got a reply back. But I am giving the negative emotions and thoughts a busy signal now as you mentioned that you were working on tight schedules.I hope you have received my emails after all my fuss!!

Hope you finish your writing successfully as I do enjoy reading your articles with great respect.

Wish you all peace and harmony
Reza

[Reply]

Evelyn Reply:
July 8th, 2011 at 8:48 am

Hello Rezza,

Thank you for your comments on this post. And also thanks for the reminder. It’s because that I have not forgotten my “duty” that I have not had the time to respond to my emails quick enough. There were competing demands that I had to attend to first in the recent weeks and they were obligations to fulfill. I am not even counting my writing datelines 🙁

Additionally, I receive many emails per day and admittedly, it takes me a while to plough through them.

Having said that, I did a search. I found one of your emails and will be responding to you shortly. Thank you for your patience.

With love,
Evelyn

[Reply]

Justin | Spiritual Development - July 8, 2011 Reply

Hi Evelyn,
What is the number if you are feeling manic. I don’t know if it is something in the air or what but the energy levels are going through the roof.

Anyway, it is time to take a few deep breaths and get my priorities straight.

[Reply]

Evelyn Reply:
July 12th, 2011 at 5:12 pm

Hello Justin,

Glad to know that you are aware. Now, breathe…..

With love,
Evelyn

[Reply]

rob white - July 8, 2011 Reply

I love the humor here, Evelyn. As important as the calls I take, I have to be supremely aware of what I am dialing out. The world is always reflecting back to us what we radiate outwardly. When I am getting a barrage of “telemarketers” I examine exactly what numbers I’ve been dialing. Chances are I’ve been sending out calls that are at odds with my Authentic-Self and it’s aims and aspirations.

[Reply]

Evelyn Reply:
July 12th, 2011 at 5:17 pm

Hi Rob,

You make a great point about discerning what our life situations are telling us. I find that if I should stay quiet and wait patiently, the message does come. And the more open I am to the messages, the greater my understanding of the true nature of things is.

With gratitude and love,
Evelyn

[Reply]

Joy - July 10, 2011 Reply

The telephone of my mind has peace on speed dial. It also requires programming someplace out in nature, preferably a few hours at a time.
I love the idea of a busy signal! The thoughts that would get a busy signal are any that are less than peace filled or less than joy filled..

[Reply]

Evelyn Reply:
July 12th, 2011 at 5:20 pm

Hi Joy,

I need the same programming too. So no excuses of making walks in nature less of a priority.

With love,
Evelyn

[Reply]

Chris Edgar - July 11, 2011 Reply

I liked it when you said you had been dialing up to stress — I felt connected to you as a fellow human being. I think “negative emotions” like stress are actually places where we can connect, although we often feel compelled to hide them from the world because other people will supposedly think we’re inadequate if we feel the way we do.

[Reply]

Evelyn Reply:
July 12th, 2011 at 5:26 pm

Hello Chris,

I don’t know of a person who is not dialed up to stress lately. It’s a matter of degree, no doubt and one’s ability to cope is key. Finding a better way forward helps, rather than let stress build up to unmanageable levels.

I feel connected to you too. You inspire me in your authenticity and useful reminders to stay true to myself.

With love and gratitude,
Evelyn

[Reply]

Kathryn - April 29, 2012 Reply

This is a joke! I was looking for the phone number, darn, lol.

[Reply]

Leave a Comment: