Love The Man In The Mirror

Really great post on such an important topic — loving yourself. You’ve really tackled this topic well and I really appreciate all of the insights you’ve shared. I’d definitely love that man if he was in my mirror. He’s cute! Hahaha

“You make decisions based on Oneness at all levels, rather than on the feeling of separateness.” This seems an excellent description of “coming into vibrational alignment.”

I have historically avoided giving gushing praise to a person because of his or her celebrity. But I can admit to having felt a bit of a connection to MJ all my life. Like me, he was raised in a family attached to a religious sect known for its authoritarian manipulation and harsh judgmentalism. When he broke away from their authority, those around me would find reasons to disparage him. I remember someone even criticizing the lyrics in “Man in the Mirror.”

“What does he MEAN, “if you want to make the world a better place, take a look at yourself and then make a change”?! The only way the world will become a better place is through Jehovah’s Kingdom, soon to come to the earth–and NOT through anything man does.”

Yes, I was still deeply involved in this group, but I always bristled at opportunistic faultfinding like this. I was probably not among MJs greatest musical fans, but I felt his talent was enormous and often felt touched by his sensitivity and apparent sadness. In fact “sadness” is what I’ve mostly felt when considering him. I’m comforted to think that he is now in the process of attaining the “self-love” and “oneness” you describe in your post.

I think parents play an important role in teaching kids self-love.

The life coach I work with once told me, the most important relationship you’ll ever in your life is the one you have with yourself.

Thanks for this — working on our relationship with ourselves is often overlooked or belittled in personal development, but like you I’ve found that it’s the root from which everything else in life grows.

Fabulous post, and so important. There are still too many who think that change comes from without, and the only way to enact change, of any sort, is from within. Starting with the man in the mirror.

Thanks for this wonderful post!

Evelyn,
Wow..what a rich post. You touched on so many vital concepts for our personal growth. I remember being very young when someone said to me that I was only going to be able to love others as much as I was able to love myself. I must have been 8 or 9 years old and that stuck with me so strongly (as I love to be connected to others) and made me really take time in my life to appreciate and honor myself so that I could be the friend, daughter, partner, mother I wanted to be.

Also, thanks for the MJ references…he was a legend. And leaves his mark on so many of our experiences.

Katie

Hi Evelyn: The way you treat others is definitely a reflection of the way you treat yourself. People who are very critical of others tend to have a very strong inner critic and tend to very dissatisfied with themselves. If you’re not kind, loving, and tolerant toward yourself, how can you possibly be kind, loving and tolerant toward others?

I think that today’s society is very centered around the first three chakras and tends to ignore the others. You can survive by focusing on the first three chakras, but you can’t thrive.

The Akashic records sound really interesting; I don’t think it’s something that I’m in alignment with quite yet, but I think I’m getting there. 🙂

Hi Evelyn,

Love your post! It struck a cord within me. I grew up with MJ music and was a fan in my teens. In later years as I watch his career, I couldn’t help to feel a lot of sadness. Someone who wanted to be loved, but couldn’t love himself – except on stage; he was in his element!

Pray that he has found the love and peace he was looking for on the other side. =)

Something I have said to myself and other for a couple of decades is if you have a judgement towards yourself or others; look into the mirror and ask yourself “where did that come from?”.
What is happening on the outside (your world) is also happening on the inside. Learning how to totally open your heart and fill it with love for yourself will spill over on everyone you come into contact with. And create unconditional love, which again is forgiveness; you forgive in advanced to any “wrong doings” that may happen in the future. (for=pre-giveness)

Love,

Mary Madeline

I miss reading your posts (I’ve been missing in action this summer). Self love is underrated and is vital to world happiness.

Hi Evelyn. I laughed at Dani’s comment about the man in the mirror and had to scroll back to take a look at him. I agree, he IS cute! 🙂 But seriously now, as I was reading this post I found myself comparing the idea of “loving yourself” to a shining sun. The sun casts warmth on everyone and I imagine that is what happens when you love yourself. That is the effect it has on everyone around you.

I was pleased to MJ’s quote here. I know he was a troubled person but I have always been inspired by his creativity and sensitivity — that is paramount in my mind, despite all the media hype and controversy. I think his sensitivity is what challenged him the most. It is tough to balance that much intensity.

I haven’t heard that song in a long time and I forgot how much I like it. I’m a fan of personal reflection and growth, and practicing an attitude of gratitude along the way. For me, self-acceptance and personal growth go hand in hand as part of the journey.

Hi Evelyn – what a beautiful article! I love they way you describe opening our hearts and loving ourselves. Thanks! – R

Hi Evelyn!

This is so beautifully written! (Based on the title I thought it might be a Michael Jackson tribute 😉

How true, it all starts with us. So often people look at others and blame others for their happiness or lack their of, but it really does start with us. We should first love ourselves unconditionally and then are we really ready to offer the same to the world. Unconditional love – truly the best part of this all!!!! Thank you 🙂

Hi Evelyn – this is so true. Until we can love and understand ourselves we can’t do the same for others. And forgiveness is important too. My life got much easier once I was able to learn to forgive.

Hi Evelyn,
I love this whole thought of “loving ourselves first”. It’s not a place I’ve always been, and there are still moments where this can be a struggle – although usually I’m there. And being in this place is so much better, because when I am – I really see the whole world differently – much more through the eyes of compassion.

Evelyn, wonderfully said – and know that I very much feel love when I’m here in this place you’ve created…

Hi Evelyn,

I love the way you handled this topic and the way in which you wrote this article. VERY GOOD!

Also, the topic of self-love is seems to be so misunderstood. As you say, it certainly is not a selfish thing, in fact, I don’t feel it possible to properly love others unless you do love yourself.

Great article

Evelyn – What a lovely post to return to after taking a break. I think this lesson is one I have returned to over and over in my life. I once had a very powerful experience along these lines occur when I was actually looking in the mirror – I felt I was looking at another person and felt this upswelling of love, and then ‘clicked’ into this awareness that it was in fact me, and then felt myself as part of this huge ocean of love. It was a powerful turning point for me.
My friend that recently passed was semi-famous for holding up a LOVE sign at Dave Matthews concerts. So this theme is very touching to me right now, in reference to MJ, my friend, and everyone.

Evelyn: lovely, lovely, lovely!

“You cannot expect to enjoy truly rewarding relationships with others if you do not first have a good relationship with yourself.”

That is so true. And when you don’t have a good relationship with yourself you will take it out on others. There is nothing wrong with being selfish. I can only give and be of value to others, if they are selfishly willing to accept it. For every give there is a take. You can’t have one without the other. It’s all about mutual benefit. We have been brainwashed into thinking selfishness is bad, but it is not when done right. It’s what makes life beautiful and rewarding. Take care of yourself first and you will then be able to help others.

Thank you, Evelyn, for reminding us that it all starts with who we see in the mirror. To be true to ourselves, to be present for ourselves, is really the first step in doing so for those we love.

Hi Evelyn,

What a great post! And I echo everything that Mary Madeline said as also being true for me. Except for the pre-giveness – that’s a new concept to me, but very interesting. I think I’ll give it a go…

thank you for this… i need to reread this and internalize this… because i realized that my heart is in chains… :((

I see a successful young african american male who is greater than what he imagines.