Guest Post: Overcome Low Self Confidence In Decision Making

My maiden post on a top self improvement site is finally up. Check out the new article on Ways of Overcoming Low Self Confidence in Decision Making here.

I wish to thank Jay White for giving me a chance to have it published on his site. Please visit and comment/Digg this article. Thank you in advance.

Mental Viruses That Obstruct Your Work Or Business Success

If you are not getting any real success at work or in business, can it be that your belief system is holding you back? A lack of success is perceived because your competitors or colleagues are scaling new heights and you don’t; or that your business or career is not growing like what you think it should. However, instead of a set of empowering beliefs and a can-do attitude, you are negative and highly stressed out. You work yourself to the bone, believing that hard work is the answer. You often complain that you are not earning enough and worse, if your results continue to be poor, you proclaim yourself to be a total failure!

Obviously, if you feel more positive about work, you are likely to attract more success. Yet empowering thoughts and beliefs are not as effective, if you do not first clear the current installation of your limiting ones. Just imagine your mind as a huge processing computer. The analogy of a mental virus has often been used to illustrate a thought that is toxic, causing you stress, discomfort and can eventually cause you a breakdown in health. Hence, you need to first delete, in your mind, the old infected software that has been preventing you from getting optimal results.

I write this post because I am reminded by the conversation my husband and I had with a friend, Belinda, over lunch yesterday. The discussion that followed, during the meal, was no less stimulating than how it has always been when we gather together. Similar to what my husband does, Belinda runs her own advisory services. I am reminded about how we choose to spend a greater proportion of our time discussing about the inner workings of the mind and our limiting thoughts and beliefs, for we often seen these as the main obstacles that stand in the way of success. The need to make difficult sales calls, marketing proposals, dealing with the occasional irate customers, providing a quality product and good service are challenges in their own right but if we can conquer how our minds work, we can overcome a lot of difficulties brought about by work.

A Checklist of Mental Viruses

Drawing on the many discussions I’ve had with Belinda and my husband, I’ve gathered some of the mental viruses that existed in our old software, so that you can determine if similar ones are limiting your work success.

– Although I think my services are worth more, I am afraid that my customers will not pay.

– Although I think my work is valuable, I dare not ask for more from my employers.

– This is the only way to do business because all other competitors are doing it this way.

– I am not as capable as my competitor or colleague.

– My competitors have all the luck and I don’t.

– Opportunities are hard to come by.

– I am not good enough.

– I am not a good salesperson.

– I cannot smooth talk.

– I do not have the necessary qualifications and experience to do well.

– Only hard work can help me or my business make more money.

– If I do well, I will lose all my friends.

– My business or I don’t need to be that successful.

– It’s good enough to survive.

– I don’t want to be too successful because my relatives and friends will want to borrow money.

– It’s too difficult to sell.

– It’s too tough to grow my business.

On the first look above, you may think that the list contains many points applying to the instance if you’re in business or in sales. However, as I see it, any job that you are in right now, is equivalent to being in the business. You are in the business of marketing and promoting yourself. Even if you are not in a front line job, you still need to compete for a promotion, prove to your boss and survive in the work environment.

Admittedly, many of these thoughts exist at the subconscious level. Hence, you may not even be aware that they may be blocking your path to success at work or in your business. I use a Kinesiology technique known as muscle testing to determine if they exist. If you are keen to know more about this technique, you can read this guide that I found on the web on how to muscle test. Alternatively, get an EFT practitioner who knows how to perform the test for you.

From the list, I’ve categorised the limiting beliefs into three main groups: not good enough, no luck or opportunity or fear of doing better.

Deleting Mental Virus of “Not Good Enough”

Not good enough just means low self worth. When you have limiting thoughts about your self worth, these are bound to affect how well you do in any type of work or business. Poor self worth results in a low energy vibrations being sent out. The Law of Attraction works but perhaps with not enough “pull” to win the customer or seal the business deal.

In the Palace of Possibilities, Gary Craig (the creator of the EFT tapping technique) talked about these beliefs as the writings on your wall. Your thoughts form beliefs which you believe are truths about yourself. He proposed erasing these writings on the wall and rewriting them with more empowering ones. Louis Hay, author of How to Heal Your Life, had similar findings. She recommended the idea that “it is only a thought and thoughts can be changed.” In fact, any other motivational or personal development coach will probably tell you the same about having to get rid of your mental clutter and empowering your mind with positive beliefs.

Hence, what’s there to say that if someone has done it before, and you can’t? What’s there to say that you are not worth every dollar that you decide to quote your customer? Delete your mental virus of not being good enough and build your self worth. Begin by learning how to love yourself first.

“Self-worth comes from one thing – thinking that you are worthy.” — Wayne Dyer

Deleting Mental Virus of “Lack of Opportunity” or “No Luck”

Would you rather believe that old adage “oppportunity only knocks once” and that you have missed it altogether; or would you prefer to believe that there are plenty of opportunities out there and that you should prepare yourself, so that you can seize the appropriate ones as they arise? Well, I would very much prefer to choose the latter.

“I will prepare and some day my chance will come.”
— Abraham Lincoln (American 16th US President (1861-65), who brought about the emancipation of the slaves. 1809-1865)

A good metaphor here is to think about having your antenna up. It is a fact that the Universe is abundant. The Universe is awashed with plenty of opportunities, as it thrives on growth and renewal. There is no scarcity but enough abundance for everyone: success, wealth, happiness, fulfillment, joy and spirituality.

So if there is an abundance of opportunities out there, you simply need to tune into them with the use of your antenna. If you ask me, you put your antenna into where the action is. And where the antenna is simply the marketplace of your business.

An opportunity often comes disguised in the form of adversity or problems: complaints by your customers of a defect in your product, a loophole in the processing system, a failed quality check, etc. If you are alert enough and your antenna “catches” the opportunity that lies beneath what is broken or defective, you are able to turn the situation around creatively.

“We are all faced with a series of great opportunities brilliantly disguised as impossible situations.”— AuntGranny Charles R. Swindoll (American Writer and Clergyman, b.1934)

In essence, the point is that it is possible to change the limiting thoughts in relation to the opportunities that your work or business faces. As for luck, read this famous quote

“Luck is what happens when preparation meets opportunity.” — Seneca

More about this point will be said further down the article.

Deleting Mental Virus of “It’s Good Enough To Survive”

If you are truly contented with how your work is currently doing, then there is no virus involved in this instance. Your software may need upgrading but at least, it is working and running okay. However, if there is no harmony within yourself, your software starts to malfunction. In everyday life, you simply fall ill. Health symptoms are typically a sign of imbalance. They can indicate the presence of a virus that is infecting you, causing a standstill or preventing you from flourishing and growing well.

Telling yourself “it’s good enough to survive” can point to the avoidance of fear. Perhaps it is not so much a question of inadequacy on your part but a fear of greatness. Fear holds you back from being at your highest potential or bringing your business to its best level. If you can remove your programming on fear, think about how much lives your work can impact and how much fulfilling work becomes.

“Everything I’ve ever done was out of fear of being mediocre. “— Chet Atkins

Of course, you must clearly distinguish what it is that is really preventing you from growing yourself at work. If you feel that you’ve got other priorities that are more important to you compared to work, then you are not in discord and there is no need to remove any viruses which were non-existent in the first place.

Get Rid Of The Mental Viruses

You remove mental viruses by either searching through your files to zap them one-by-one or with the aid of a detection-and-elimination software, before installing new and better programs. Using a detection-and-elimination or anti-virus software is obviously a much faster process. Some of these softwares form great resources which can help you leapfrog the process of inner healing.

You get to enjoy the benefits of greater joy and fulfillment, from healing internally, throughout all aspects of your life. Not to forget, changing the software in your head is a necessary preparation for the opportunity that is coming along, as much as it is necessary to help you bring your current work or business to the next level.

What Is Subliminal Messaging?

In my car, I would often play an audio with subliminal messaging on positive affirmations by Louis Hay. I particularly like to play it while my kids are in the car, as I believe that there cannot be too many times that my kids are told that they are loved.

Subliminal messaging is a helpful tool to change your internal dialogue. Subliminal messaging works far better than using positive affirmations alone, as it goes deep into the recesses of your subconscious mind. Often, you may not realize that your conscious mind and subconscious mind are saying two things.

Subliminal messaging can be used if you suffer from low self esteem. Play the audio daily for 30 days and you can find that your thoughts altering to more positive ones. Visuals can also be used to change the mental images that you have on a subconscious level.

According to Wikipedia, a “subliminal message is sub-liminal, beneath a limen (i.e., a threshold); a signal or message embedded in another object, designed to pass below the normal limits of perception.” Your conscious mind is not aware that these messages are being told to you.

Advertising agencies or propaganda have been found to use subliminal techniques. However, if used unwisely, the effects can be dangerous.

View the video below on two guys from ad agencies who got caught with their pants down, when subliminal messaging was used on them….watch to the end of the video to find out the secret of how subliminal messaging made an impression on their subconscious minds…

Goal Setting: Boost Low Self Esteem With EFT

First, I would like to wish all the readers to this site a Happy New Year.

I would like to start off this New Year with more discussions on Goal Setting. For goal setting, you need to have a good understanding about yourself, where you are and what direction you would like to head towards.

In your reflection, if you have wondered about the lack of success in your life so far, perhaps you should ask yourself if you suffer from the fundamental problem of low self esteem. Ask yourself if thoughts like these sound familiar?

1. I can’t do anything.

2. No one believes I can do this.

3. I am no good at my work.

4. I will never be as good as somebody else.

5. Others are brighter than me.

6. I will never be good at it anyway; no matter how hard I try.

7. I am born unlucky.

8. I am stupid.

If you do, you are probably having low self esteem. With the start of a brand new year, you should strongly consider setting one of your goals towards developing self confidence. When you feel good about yourself, you are more confident in your own abilities to achieve whatever you want. How you feel about yourself is based on the person you think you are. The better your self esteem is, the greater the value that you attach to your own abilities, and the more successful in life you are likely to be.

You can have positive beliefs that strengthens you or negative beliefs that tear you down. A low self esteem can result in a poor attitude, difficulty in assertiveness and an inability to cope well under stress.

For goal setting, you need to be able to visualize that you are able to achieve your goals. However, if you have a low self esteem, you will not be able to imagine this possibility. Even if you do try to be positive, a subconscious belief that you can’t will sabotage your efforts for visualization.

With a low self esteem, you will find that you tend to give up easily, while trying to achieve your goals. You give up when you hit upon challenges along the way. Invariably, you will start to question your abilities.

Hence if you have low self esteem, you should really be looking into this part about yourself first. If you make the effort to address your low self esteem, then achieving your other goals will be much easier.

Good self esteem can be nurtured in a child and encouraged by parents and caregivers. When children feel good about who they are and what they can achieve; they grow up to be confident, happy adults who believe in what they can do to improve themselves.

However, it is never too late to work on building good self-esteem. It is better to start now than never. Remind yourself that you have to give yourself credit for every little achievement or success that you make in this new year. Celebrate your wins! Take time off to pamper yourself and know that you are worth it.

Set a goal to boost your self esteem. One effective technique to help you achieve it is with EFT tapping exercises. Here is how you can start: write down a list of things that you do not feel good about yourself (like the list at the top of this article). Then, tap your emotions away.

Also, do not expect yourself that you will no longer have pangs of anxiety about your self worth every now and then. During these moments, use EFT tapping to counter the negative thoughts that you have. This has been my experience: The more times you tap away your negative emotions, the more you will invoke a positive shift in thinking. The shift in thinking takes root and stays for good.