5 Anxiety-Reducing Benefits of Cultivating Loving-Kindness

“Just as a mother at the risk of life loves and protects her child, her only child, so one should cultivate boundless love to all that live in the whole universe.” – Buddha

5 Anxiety-Reducing Benefits of Cultivating Loving-Kindness
by Stephen Joseph

In the first few moments of being introduced to the practice of loving-kindness, I was admittedly a little less than enthusiastic. I thought it thoroughly pointless and something only pretentious bohemians or experienced Buddhist practitioners pursued.

I was in my early twenties and suffering terribly under the ravages of at least three separate anxiety disorders. My mind was destabilised and full of fear. All my hopes for the future lay shattered and depression was beginning to knock at the door.

The introduction to loving-kindness came in the form of a book my parents gave me. One day my father had knocked on the door of my bedroom, which had been my reclusive hide-out for going on 4 years, and when invited in, had silently placed the book on my bedside table, then left.

My parents were desperately worried about my health and they frequently bought self-help books for me to read in the hope one would be a catalyst for some kind of revival or recovery. Their attempts hadn’t worked before, but this time it did.

The book was ‘Being Nobody, Going Nowhere’ by the late German Buddhist nun Ayya Khema. Within its pages were clear and practical instructions on meditation and the myriad of techniques for calming and centring the mind. The author also delved into various age-old insights into overcoming conditioned habits, beliefs, ideas and behavioural patterns.

What really struck me in particular was her study of loving-kindness meditation and how a person can transfer a feeling of unconditional love for all living beings, through to their daily activities. It was like a light bulb had been turned on inside my brain. The philosophy fascinated me.

Very slowly and surely, I began to practice the techniques described within the book. For a set period of time each day I’d sit down and cultivate as best I could a sense of pure love for people, whether near or far. Most importantly, I also developed empathy, acceptance, and kindness for myself, which would go on to have significant results in reducing my general anxiety levels.

When practiced every day, and when consciously applied to everyday situations, the development of unconditional kindness and love has monumentally positive effects on just about everything in your life.

These feelings of loving-acceptance are a choice emotion you can choose to develop and are not dependent on the type of people you’re surrounded by. What matters is what is in your own heart and not in the heart of another.

Below are 5 benefits I came to be thankful for after a number of months practicing loving-kindness.

Mental Calmness

For an acute anxiety sufferer like I was at the time, the addition of loving and sympathetic thoughts to my mind was an extremely healing experience. It took a little time to bring these positive feelings to the fore, but when I did, I quickly began to notice a difference in my mood as well as a reduction in my levels of anxiety and apprehension.

Old habituated patterns of negative thinking began to disintegrate under the welcoming pressure of new thoughts and emotions. Love truly began to flourish within my mind and spread physically to my body.

Mental Clarity

Anxiety creates illusions and confusions which taunt and trick the mind. Small worries quickly become exaggerated dramas, whilst the world outside appears one large mass of bewilderment and danger.

The practice of loving-kindness reduces these fears and replaces them with more positive and beneficial states of consciousness. These include relaxation, equanimity, compassion, contentment and positivity. Above all, the mind develops a greater sense of clarity.

This clear sightedness allows you to look rationally at the problems once faces without reacting to them with unnecessary fear and upset. It also leads to solutions being a lot more forthcoming.

Emotional Strength

I was the puppet and my emotions were my puppet-master. There seemed to be no control over how I felt at any given moment and I was at the complete mercy of my anxiety disorders. Experience had told me this is as it should be and that it was ludicrous to think any differently.

I was wrong of course and with the cultivating of positive emotions in the form of love, kindness, and compassion, I began to feel my feet touching upon a long hidden bedrock of emotional stability and strength. As the waters of anxiety began to recede, so my ability to remain emotionally balanced rose.

Better Sleep

I couldn’t remember the last time I had slept peacefully and easily at night, without the help of medication. Most days I would still be awake as the birds began their morning chorus and the darkness outside slowly turned brighter. This sleeplessness affected my life terribly and impacted negatively on my health.

A few weeks after regular loving-kindness meditation I began to notice that I would fall asleep slightly earlier than normal. The nightmares that plagued my sleeping hours soon cleared completely.

The addition of loving thoughts into my daily thinking patterns changed the way my brain operated. Within another few months I was sleeping a full 8 hours and falling asleep before midnight. What’s more, the atrocious morning anxiety which I had suffered from vanished.

Increased Possibilities

After years of living like a hermit inside the home of my parents, my ability to see the many positive possibilities in life was close to zero. I saw no chance to find a job, no chance to meet a lover, no chance to again feel the sun on my face when walking along a beach. My whole anxious existence was centred inside the four walls of one house.

Bathing my mind in love, compassion and kindness for myself and everyone around me, was like having the keys to all the locked doors in the world. Gradually with practice, things that before seemed impossible or something to be feared appeared more attainable, available and welcoming.

As mental clarity and emotional balance sets in, so the wonders of life display themselves with crystal clear luminosity.

Anxiety doesn’t have to be a life sentence. With various techniques and strategies you can reduce and even eliminate inappropriate anxiety from your life. The development of loving-kindness in your day-to-day living is a great tactic to cultivate in order to lessen anxiety and increase overall happiness.

About the Author

Stephen Joseph is the creator of Outsmart Anxiety, a website devoted to helping anxiety sufferers discover ways to regain a sense of relaxation, balance and happiness in their lives. Subscribe to the newsletter for regular tips and advice delivered straight to your inbox.

Editor’s Note

I enjoyed reading Stephen’s story. I am so glad to know that he has managed to overcome his challenges. What is great is that he uses loving-kindness meditation as therapy for his anxiety issues.

What about you? Have you found any benefits from developing a practice in loving-kindness? Please share in the comments below.

Love and abundance always,

Life Coach. Energy Healing Practitioner.

Please share this post on your favorite social media platforms so that others can learn more about the benefits of self-acceptance. Thank you!

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