Mindset Journal for Women: How to Practice Positive Thinking

How the “Poor Me” Syndrome Is Synonymous with Poverty Consciousness

For your awareness, to constantly think “poor me” is to operate in poverty consciousness.

Do you go over “poor me”, “poor me” and “poor me” in your mind?

You could also be repeating the same thing to the people that you meet too.

“Poor me” is akin to having a victim mentality. You are in self-pity. A “poor me” syndrome arises especially when you are constantly pointing blame outwards. It could be the fault of your grandmother, father, the government, the economy and so on. It is always the fault of someone or something else except yours.

[Side-note] This post is updated as the content is still relevant today.
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What Are Glimmers and How You Can Find Them

Glimmers are the opposite of triggers.

Glimmers are moments that act as cues for self-regulation and for soothing our nervous system. They are tiny moments where we feel relaxed, safe, assured and connected. In contrast triggers cause us to feel threatened. When we are triggered badly, our fight-flight-freeze response can get excessively activated and our nervous system becomes deregulated. 

The concept of glimmers first came from Polyvagal theory.  The theory was introduced by Stephen Porges in 1995 where we learn about how our autonomic nervous system is constantly on the lookout for cues to determine if they are dangerous. “Glimmers” is coined by Deb Dana, a licensed clinical social worker who specialises in complex trauma and also the author of The Polyvagal Therory in Therapy, as a way to help us shift out of survival mode. 

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Stop Shaming Your Body For Gaining Self-Acceptance

If you are in the habit of shaming your own body, stop.

Shaming your own body because of your physical imperfections can cause you to feel lousy about yourself.

Perhaps you don’t like the way your nose looks, the slant of your eyes, the shape of your face, your freckles, boob size, etc…and the list goes on. 

While it may be true that they are not perfect according to some beauty standards, shaming yourself over them is not going to be helpful for your confidence. Continue reading

How to Practice Loving Self-Acceptance

Practising loving self-acceptance is not something that may come naturally. In fact, it could be a key life lesson that some of us. You may find yourself attracting various experiences that involve this important aspect of what it means to embrace yourself totally.

Many of us long to be accepted for who we are. And so, we go about seeking validation and approval from others. However, the crux is that if we cannot accept ourselves, we cannot expect others to accept us too. Without any self-acceptance, we live in constant fear of being rejected.

“A man cannot be comfortable without his own approval.” – Mark Twain

I find it great to learn from movies too.  One of the movies that I watched with my children was Wreck-it Ralph show. Initially, I had found the plot rather slow moving. And so I was not paying full attention to it. But as the movie wore on, I discovered that there were valuable lessons on self-acceptance.
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How Reparenting Helps to Address Your Insecure Attachment Style

If you have an insecure attachment style, you can potentially benefit from doing some reparenting work. Insecure attachment affects those in their ability to form healthy relationships, make decisions and/or to cope emotionally. On the other hand, reparenting yourself helps you to heal your inner child, gain trust and maintain emotional stability. Thus, you enhance your ability to cultivate close relationships, boost confidence and enhance overall well-being. 

Attachment styles first came from the work of John Bowlby, a psychologist. He first proposed Attachment theory in the 1950s and 1960s. Attachment theory helps us to find out more about the nurturing that was experienced during the initial years of our life and how it affects us today.

Bowlby’s view is that the bond between mother and child is most important of all. The first formative 18 months is very crucial in the child’s development. Where there is adequate nurturing, the child grows up to be a secure adult. Conversely, the absence of adequate nurturing leads to insecure attachment and the forming of invisible emotional wounds that often results in maladjustments in the emotional, social and cognitive development of the child. 

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Reparenting Yourself: What Does It Mean and How to Get Started

What does reparenting yourself mean?

Reparenting yourself simply means healing your inner child and giving your inner child the love and the guidance and support that you didn’t receive when you were young, in the present. 

[Update] Check out my new online course on How to Reparent Yourself. 

How to Deal with Emotional Overwhelm When It Feels Too Much

Going through a tough period?

Finding it hard to deal with emotional overwhelm?

Perhaps, you are at a loss about what to do with the flood of feelings that are coming up. 

A client once described her experience as being in a washing machine, with the flood of emotions spinning round and round and unable to stop. And it happens to the best of us. Whatever the trigger is, it may be that you are feeling angry or sad, all at once. Or that you are feeling torn. 

You just can’t make out what to think or how to go about solving your problems. No wonder you struggle to fall asleep. Well, if you have been feeling struggling, I would like to invite you to create a safe space for yourself.

Instead of being in a rush to repress or deny what you are going through, give yourself some time to process your feelings. 

Start by putting your hands over your heart and center your breathing.

Be in a safe non-judgmental space as you work through this. 

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