What Are The Differences Between Attachment, Detachment and Non-Attachment?
Perhaps, you have come to realize that attachment can be the one thing that is preventing you from manifesting the results you want. So it is that you are already working towards your dream but you cannot help but feel all sorts of negative emotions ranging from anxiety, fear, lack and frustration in the meantime. Your journey is turning out to be extremely painful.
Unfortunately, your negative state works against having the Law of Attraction in your favor. You attract more of “not having” instead of “having”. You even start to doubt if your ultimate desire or dream is ever going to materialize.
Hence, you have been wondering how to reconcile having desires and at the same time, be non-attached to the ultimate object or outcome of your desires. After all, with a desire, you will want to see yourself in possession of it. You hope that what you wish for will come true. It seems hard not to be attached to the results that you wish to experience, especially when your desire is a strong one. And didn’t Law of Attraction proponents suggest that having a strong desire as important for manifestation?
Today’s post is part One of two articles about practicing non-attachment. Much confusion arises from a lack of clear understanding. A number of common myths need to be addressed, if you intend to learn about applying universal laws more effectively. For one thing, it is important to first clarify the value with experiencing desires.
What is Desire?
Unfortunately, many religious folks have the mistaken belief that having desire is wrong and that it creates suffering. Hence, they tend to judge the believers of the Law of Attraction as immoral, misdirected and materialistic. They have the perception that the latter group will be more interested in manifesting for great wealth without having to work hard.
Well, the following is my understanding. A desire is borne out of contrast. As you live through your life experiences and become more aware about yourself, you start to have personal preferences. Often these personal preferences are referred to as desires. From knowing what you do not want, you clarify what you do want.
Note that it is human and instinctual to have personal preferences. Hence, there is nothing “wrong” with having desires per se. Not forgetting, some desires are healthy to have. For instance, a desire to be well is a healthy one. Also, to deny your desires is to no longer experience the motivation for improvement, progress and growth. Without any forward movement, life loses its meaning. You can essentially forget about feeling alive, in this scenario.
The ego does not know that life, being a mystery, cannot be answered but can only be lived! -Dr. Vijai Shankar
Desires summon creative energies for manifestation. The stronger your desire, the greater its likelihood of becoming real. Just think of those around you who are passionate about their dreams. They tend to be the ones who are more successful with bringing their dreams into fruition.
However, as you have probably already discovered that as soon as you grasp at something, pain arises. In fact, the more you grasp to a form – whether thought, emotion, person, animal or object – the level of your pain increases. Psychological pain is suffering. It is what Buddha found out too.
What is Attachment?
It is the attachment to your desired object that results in the suffering. When you do not have it, you cannot get your desire out of your mind. You become anxious, start to crave, whine, complain, envy and get frustrated because of your attachment.
“Attachment is the origin, the root of suffering; hence it is the cause of suffering.” -The Dalai Lama
As someone who attempts to apply the Law of Attraction deliberately, having an attachment causes you to wonder why your desires are taking so long to manifest. And so, you lament over your lack. A look at the quick successes of your neighbors causes you to become convinced of your own misfortune. Naturally, by virtue of the Law of Attraction, because you are vibrating lack instead of fullness, you attract more lack.
To be attached to something means that you believe that you cannot do without it. Somehow you see that your life will be compromised without this possession. You are not able to realize the impermanence of all things physical. By being attached, you are unable to be free.
What is The Difference Between Detachment and Non-Attachment?
Detachment, in my opinion, is not the same thing as non-attachment. When you are detached, you cut off your feelings. You are not able to practice empathy or compassion. You cannot see from another person’s point of view. Getting into detachment can also be part of your coping mechanism. Sometimes when emotions get too overwhelming, your coping mechanism gets activated; thus causing you to withdraw.
Non-attachment suggests the possibility of having a desire but not being attached to it. Hence you do not allow yourself to become overwhelmed emotionally. Neither do you permit your internal critic to take over. You take note of the negative thoughts and emotions that come up but you choose not to focus your attention on them.
In other words, you do not allow ego consciousness to take charge. Ego consciousness causes you to feel limited, separated and insecure. It is one that is based on the paradigm of lack. When you operate from ego consciousness, it is very difficult to claim your birthright to universal abundance.
Note that emotional responses generated by your ego are not the same as heart-centered desires from your soul. Desires that come from ego, causing you to crave “I want”, usually lead to attachment; which causes suffering. Such desires are backed by fear. On the other hand, your soul-level desire, from the center of the heart, is for connection, unity and love.
My Journey of Non-Attachment
Still, I have to admit that as much as I would like to, it has not been easy applying non-attachment. For small items, it is no sweat. I consider small items to be material things like a Chanel bag (as I was recently told, a supposedly standard item for a modern day girl working in an office) or an upgrade to a BMW 6-series Coupe for instance. I do not personally need these items, so no wanting there.
But for the more significant ones such as those concerning my dreams, I have found that non-attachment as one involving constant practice. Well, my next post is on practicing and applying non-attachment. Do keep a lookout!!
Shine from the Soul,
Author. Adventurer. Life Coach. More About Me.
Share With Me
As I do not claim to be an expert or a spiritual teacher, I would like to add that the above thoughts form my own understanding. Do share with me what your thoughts on desires, attachment, non-attachment and detachment are.
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Evelyn Reply:
September 27th, 2011 at 9:21 pm
Hello Sandhan,
It’s great that you have validated mine too 🙂
With love,
Evelyn
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