Guest Post: Overcome Low Self Confidence In Decision Making

My maiden post on a top self improvement site is finally up. Check out the new article on Ways of Overcoming Low Self Confidence in Decision Making here.

I wish to thank Jay White for giving me a chance to have it published on his site. Please visit and comment/Digg this article. Thank you in advance.

8 Steps To Mental Housekeeping For A Happy Home

Mental housekeeping is the act of taking care of your mental home. Your mental home “houses” your mind, the seat of real authority that controls your total well-being. We often pay close attention to our physical home but little to the state of our mental home. Considering that our mental home holds the thoughts that can change our outer reality, this can be a real shame.

 

Mental housekeeping is needed because we have in our minds, many negative thoughts. Everytime we say “I can’t”, “I will try”, or “I don’t want”, we are engaged in negative thinking. When we think negatively, we are not going to get what we desire. This is also true, according to the Law of Attraction. Instead, we really should be focusing on what we want to bring about positive results.

 

Your mind, which controls a lot of things about your physical body, holds thoughts that are handed down from the generations before you. Additionally since the time that you were born, you have already received countless thoughts, impressions, ideas, prejudices and judgements. Yet, much of what you have received to make your mental home, is accepted without questioning or further thought. Hence, it can be said that you are really the result of past thinking.

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17 Types Of Smiles To Wear: A Guide For All Occasions

What happens when you feel the first instance of joy?

That’s right. You break out in a smile.

A smile is a facial expression with the upward contours at the ends of your mouth 🙂 Sometimes, it may not be mouth that is telling of a smile; it may just be that sparkle in your eyes! Hence, it is very possible to use a smile to communicate a thousand words.

Most smiles are happy signs. They speak of joy, happiness, love or even pride. However, there are smiles that can also be an involuntary expression of anxiety, otherwise known as the grimace, or an expression of embarrassment in a sheepish sort of way.

Please also do not confuse a smile in a human with what seems like one in an animal. Animals baring their teeth – which you may mistake for a smile – is often used as a threat or warning display. In chimpanzees, rather than it being a sign for happiness, it can be a sign of fear.

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Remove Your 10 Blocks To Creativity

Encountering blocks to creativity?

Let’s first consider adopting a shift in perspective.

Most people, including yourself, may think about about creativity as doing well in art and music. Hence, if you find that you are nowhere near producing great works in these areas, you may well declare that you are not creative. However, I would like to embrace a broader definition of what creativity is.

To begin with, you need not be a genius to be creative. Creativity is a surge – a burst of imaginative and new ideas or your own unique interpretation of your five senses – that arises within your inner Being and turning this surge into reality. It also involves the the translation of your unique gifts and talents into something new and useful.

Creativity can also be about problem solving. In fact, you do not need to have a big problem to solve, to be considered creative. If you can solve your everyday problems in an ingenious way or come up with solutions to plug gaps, you are creative.

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7 Jazzy Ideas To Making Positive Daily Affirmations FUN

Positive daily affirmations are declarations of a desired outcome or goal. Affirmations are reprogramming tools for your mind. They can help you develop positive thinking, get rid of unhelpful beliefs, reduce stress, build your self esteem and attract the life you want.. As an example, the statement that “I easily and consistently make $10,000 a month” will be an appropriate affirmation that overrides the limiting “I find it hard to make $10,000 a month”.

To anchor a positive daily affirmation firmly in your subconscious, find out the pitfalls that you need to avoid. Next, keep repeating it so that it becomes the “truth” for you. The more frequent you make the declaration, the more effective it gets.

Having said that, I’ve often found that it can get pretty boring making the same declaration several times a day and day-after-day. Just imagine repeating the following positive daily affirmations like a mantra:

“I easily and consistently make $10,000 a month.”
“I weigh a healthy X pounds.”
“I attract girls/men very easily.”

I’m not sure whether you would agree with me….that while these affirmations may just do the job, they do not sound exciting in the least!

So I’m thinking: how about using some creativity to jazz up the practice of using Positive Daily Affirmations?

Well…..

Here is a list of 7 ideas from my toolkit for making Positive Daily Affirmations a FUN exercise!

1. Make Your Affirmations Into A Song!

While racking my brain for ideas, I came across one from Gary Craig, who founded the Emotional Freedom Technique. Gary suggested turning affirmations into a jingle.

Remember the nursery rhyme Old McDonalds Had a Farm? For those who just cannot recall, here’s the rhyme:

Old McDonalds had a farm. Ee-ii-ee-ii-o.
With a quack quack here. And a quack quack there.
Here a quack and there a quack. Everywhere a quack quack.
Old MacDonalds had a farm. Ee-ii-ee-ii-o.

Using Gary’s proposed lyrics and the same tune to Old McDonalds, here’s how you would sing to an affirmation involving a money goal:

I earn 10K a month. Very E-asily.
And a dollar dollar here. And a dollar dollar there.
Here a dollar. There a dollar. Everywhere a dollar dollar.
I earn 10K a month. Very E-asily.

Another song that I’ve thought of, that can be easily adapted is “My Bonnie Lies Over the Ocean”….

My Bonnie lies over the ocean, my Bonnie lies over the sea, My Bonnie lies over the ocean, O bring back my Bonnie to me.
Chorus: Bring back, bring back, O bring back my Bonnie to me, to me. Bring back, bring back, O bring back my Bonnie to me.

Here is the version that I am proposing….

My earnings comes easy to me-e,
my earnings come easy to me.
My earnings comes easy to me-e.
O give me my earnings right now.

Chorus: Earning O earning O earning my 10K a month, a month.
Earning O earning O earning my 10K a month.

2. Make Art out of Positive Daily Affirmations.

Perhaps you are less of a singer than an artist. If you are more visual, then consider using art to express your positive daily affirmations.

You can start a scrap journal and paste or draw anything in it that supports your affirmation. For instance, if your affirmation is “I make $10K a month”, think about the things you can buy. Then, find the pictures that support them. Stick pictures like a new designer handbag, new clothes, watch, etc. into your journal.

Alternatively, instead of pictures, you can also different phrases to support your affirmation. For instance, I have come across phrases like “dream home come true”, “a million possibilities”, “arouse your creative imagination” and “inspirational living” while flipping through home and decor magazines. Cut these phrases out and paste them into your scrap book.

Art can be expressed in a variety of ways, using different mediums. Other than cutting and pasting pictures for magazines, you can also consider using a software to create an affirmations board (refer to the above image that I made). The idea is to use your creativity in more ways than one, to connect to your inner Self while making affirmations.

3. Dress The Part.

This will depend on the affirmation that you are making. Obviously, if you have a weight loss affirmation, then it may not be quite possible to dress the part yet.

But if you have an affirmation on a money goal, then dressing the part can be a powerful make-believe that you have already made it. Notice how you feel if you are always dress shabbily compared to if you have got your best clothes on?

If you have an affirmation that says “I am a successful businessman”, then your dressing smartly can also help to conjure the same thought in the minds of your prospects.

4. Daydream About Your Affirmations Coming True.

Daydreaming is a powerful exercise. When you use your imagination, you are building an imagery in your subconscious mind.

In your daydreams, you can complete just about any impossible tasks out there, with wonderous results. You can be Superman, Wonder Woman, or James Bond (See also point 6 below)!

While daydreaming, affirm your goals. Stretch your imagination. Have fun, thinking of how your affirmations can come true.

“The best thing about dreams is that fleeting moment, when you are between asleep and awake, when you don’t know the difference between reality and fantasy, when for just that one moment you feel with your entire soul that the dream is reality, and it really happened.”
— Unknown

5. Use Role Models To Create Your Affirmations.

How about borrowing this famous line?…..
“Just call me Bond. James Bond.”

Obviously, you should use the appropriate role model for the affirmation that you are working on.

For instance, if you have an aspiration to be a motivational public speaker, then your affirmation may sound like this “Just call me Tony. Tony Robbins.”

If you have an aspiration to look fit, then your affirmation may be “Just call me Jennifer. Jennifer Lopez.”

If you have an affirmation to be a super woman, then your affirmation may be “Just call me Wonder. Wonder Woman”.

6. Use Empowering Adjectives.

The choice of words can help in bringing about a stronger emotion to your positive daily affirmations. For instance, don’t you think there is a difference between saying “I earn $5K a month” as compared to “I easily and consistently make $5K a month”?

You can also add empowering adjectives, to make a more eloquent affirmation, like:
Awesome
Elegant
Delightful
Magnificent
Energised
Vibrant
Beautiful
Creative
Wonderful
Great

Emphasize the adjective while stating your new affirmation….

Old Positive Daily Affirmation: I am in a state of good health.
New Positive Daily Affirmation: I am in a state of Vibrant health.

Old Positive Daily Affirmation: I make $5K a month.
New Positive Daily Affirmation: I make an Awesome $5K a month.

Old Positive Daily Affirmation: I am in a job that I love.
New Positive Daily Affirmation: I am in a Magnificent job that I love, with access to many Wonderful opportunities.

7. Make-Believe Mini Exercises.

Think up ideas for make believe on your affirmations coming true. Back to my example again on the money goal, consider writing a blank check to yourself. On the check, fill in your name and write the figure that you desire. Keep it n your wallet. In your mind, imagine spending the dollar amount and feeling happy about your purchases. Repeat this exercise every month.

In Conclusion

Explore making affirmations into a poem, poster, food decoration. Anything! Since you were a child, your negative beliefs probably got programmed in a multitude of ways. My point is why not do the same with positive affirmations in a FUN JAZZY and more interesting way?

Love and Abundance Always,

 

 

P.S. Sharing is caring! Share this post with your friends on social media. Thank you in advance 🙂

Travelling Tips For A Happier Life Journey

(Photo Credit: HelloBernard on Flickr)

Consider your life journey.

Have you been a happy traveller mostly so far?

Are you on the driver’s seat, in control of where you want to go, with regards to your life?

What road are you travelling on? Are you on the highway to greater fulfilment?

Or…on a stoned path that is going nowhere?

Well, if you go about your days muttering “life sucks”, if you feel that “luck is what counts”, or if you’ve been thinking that it is best to sacrifice your dreams in exchange for a comfortable don’t-rock-the-boat life, then it is obvious that your journey so far has been less than rewarding and exciting. It may also be that instead of being in charge of driving on your own journey, you have just been cruising along. Possibly, a passenger with little control over the steering wheel to your life.

Notice how you talk to yourself while in your car? I’m not referring to your cursing and swearing at the driver in the next car just this morning; but rather the inner thoughts that go on in your head going through life. Here’s what your inner conversations probably sound like, while you are on your life’s journey…

Inner Talk:“No matter which path I take, it’s going to reach a dead end.”
Limiting Belief: “No matter how I do it, I’m never going to reach success”.

Inner Talk: “To reach the destination, stick to the small familiar roads. ”
Limiting Belief: “To reach success, choose the tried and conventional path. You can’t afford to try anything adventurous.”

Inner Talk: “It’s dangerous to go on the highway.”
Limiting Belief: “Don’t go on the fast track because it is dangerous.”

Inner Talk: “I don’t know how to handle this god-damn 4-wheel drive.”
Limiting Belief: “I don’t know how to take charge because the decisions involved are too big.”

Inner Talk: “I’m going to let my boyfriend do the driving because girls are known to be worse drivers.”
Limiting Belief: “I’m not good enough.”

Inner Car Talk: “I’m going to let my daddy do the driving because he has always been the family driver.”
Limiting Belief: “I need my daddy’s approval.”

Look Who’s Driving

The limiting beliefs as described above are probably implanted in your mind since a long time ago when you started off your life journey. While you are already way past the minimum age of getting a driving license, it is possible that you have not been really the one in charge of your own journey.

The drivers are really the unconscious negative thoughts and beliefs who have already hijacked you and over-written every single dream you may have. Every decision that you make from as little as what to wear this morning to major ones like career choices and whether or not to pursue your dreams, is influenced by what has been fed into your mind over and over again, since you were a child.

Negative self-talk lay seiged in your mind, causing you to apply brakes, go in circles, backing into the quick sand, and never allowing you to reach the top of the hill. When you allow yourself to be guided by a complex map of negative self sabotaging thoughts, you are unable to see clearly or to chart a finishing course for yourself. Sadly, you choose to shelf your hopes, bury your desires and suppress your dreams.

Consistent Thoughts: Repetition and Emotion

As you go through life, more than a million things have already been said to you. Most of them probably did not register much.

It is those thoughts that are made repeatedly and with emotion, that create the most impact. You’ve come to believe as truths what you have been told over and over again. A more emotional choice of words also tend to create a deeper imprint in your mind.

If the thoughts reinforce the positive, chances are that you will turn out to be a more positive and joyful person. You go through life, viewing difficulties as challenges or lessons to learn from. You see the stars in the sky rather than the mud on the ground.

However, if you have been indoctrinated with negative and limiting thoughts, it is likely that you will end up more cynical and disappointed about life. In a way, when you are so tuned into negativity, you will also be the lookout for negative events. You encounter them with a resigned attitude, drawing a deep sigh for the upteemth time “….see I told you so….I’ve never got a good thing coming….I don’t deserve the good things in life!”

So Who’s Been Talking And Driving?

The inner voices responsible for the driving have been echoing since you were a child. Who do they belong to?

1. Your Parents and/or Guardians. You base your life scripts on your early messages. Your parents and/or guardians are probably the most influential people in your life. As a child, you accepted what you’ve been told as “truths”.

These messages can be positive, such as notes of encouragement and motivation, or they can be negative, telling you that you are no good or with little talents. As you think about it now, if the messages have been negative, it would seem easy just to blame your parents and declare yourself as a victim for the rest of your life. However, you cannot move towards happiness if you do not start forgiving and healing. You need to break free.

Here’s how. Think about your parents and guardians. You need to understand why they have told you the negative messages. Have they been told these themselves because of their own upbringing or have they formed these beliefs because of the traumas that they went through? How were their childhoods like? Did they also have negative parents?

When you come from understanding of what it has been like for them, you no longer blame them for saying those things to you. These negative thoughts had been their realities too and they probably did not realise how destructive these beliefs can be.

2. Authoritative Figures. These are people that you look up to because they are older than you or who are your role models. One good example of an authoritative figure is your school teacher. And you’ve probably been taught by quite a number of teachers, since a big part of your early years is spent in school. A teacher who constantly berated you for being slow could have caused you to really feel that way about yourself. On the other hand, a teacher who encouraged you even though you have failed in your exams, in your later school years could have inspired you to make a shift into adopting empowering thoughts about yourself.

3. Your Friends. As a young and impressionable kid, it is easy to get affected by what your friends say. Your emotional vulnerability is also heightened if you suffered from a poor self esteem. The roots in your negative self talk may lay in the repeated taunts by a school bully or a slew of unkind remarks by a thoughtless friend.

4. The Media. Who do you think are the biggest perpetrators of building imprints in your mind? The award surely goes to the advertisers. I can think of no better example than the constant barrage of McDonalds ads that I see on the papers and TV.

Here’s a subliminal messaging that has been embedded by McDonalds in a Food Network show…

Now you can understand why it is so difficult to give up eating fast food even though you well know on a conscious level that it is bad for your health.

If you’ve constantly been exposed to beauty ads on looking good to be popular since the age of 3, guess how your self esteem is going to be like if you do not have an external appearance to match? It is no wonder that there can be so many depressed folks out there with problems like eating disorders, obesity and mental issues.

“Good advertising does not just circulate information. It penetrates the public mind with desires and belief.” — Leo Burnett (Pioneer American advertising Executive, 1891-1971)

Chart Your Own Journey From Now

Consistent thoughts have the power to influence you in your decision making process at various points in life. They become your reality, when you write out your life script according to what they say. The Law of Attraction is really no surprise. What you think and focus on, becomes a fact. If you are guided by negative thoughts, you will undertake actions that reinforce these “truths” about yourself. By virtue of your actions, you are going to achieve less-than-perfect outcomes. And less-than-perfect outcomes are just going to attract more of the similar ones that have already been happening in your life.

On the other hand, if you are guided by positive thoughts, you tend to take on powerful actions that bring about better outcomes. You increase the chances of success when you are forward looking. You also set yourself up in attracting more wonderful opportunities.

Once you discover who you’ve been allowing to take the driver’s seat and why, you are at liberty to take back the control of the steering wheel. You are free to choose the thoughts that will be helpful in creating the life that you want, and ditch the ones that hinder you in your tracks to true happiness. You can choose to be guided by a life compass that points to greater fulfilment. It is very much in your interest to chart your own journey from now.

“Let your mind start a journey thru a strange new world. Leave all thoughts of the world you knew before. Let your soul take you where you long to be…Close your eyes let your spirit start to soar, and you’ll live as you’ve never lived before.”
— Erich Fromm (German born American social Philosopher and Psychoanalyst, 1900-1980)

7 Instances Why Your Positive Affirmations Fail To Work

Are you about to give up and proclaim that positive affirmations do not work?

You already are aware of the benefits of thinking positively. And so, you have been trying to use positive affirmations daily. Yet, despite repeating them like a mantra for several times a day, you’ve not met with any success.

In my post today, I would like to share with you a couple of key learnings that I have made. I would like to share some examples of my own. Be on your way to making positive affirmations work for you!

What Are Positive Affirmations

Positive affirmations are thoughts or statements on a desired state or outcome. The desired state or outcome can cover any aspect of your life such as in abundance, success, relationships or health. One common example of an affirmation is “I consistently and easily make $X a month”. Using positive affirmations is powerful because consistent thoughts can become realities. Hence, the more often you reinforce the positive, the more it is likely to happen.

While you would prefer to believe that you are a positive person, in reality, it could be  the opposite. On a subconscious level, you may have several negative self sabotaging thoughts and beliefs. These thoughts are usually formed from the various experiences that you have had, the conditioning that you went through as a child, your sense of fair play, your successes and failures and the values that you have been taught and come to adopt.

Consistent thoughts make up your belief system, when you give them power and more focus. Gary Craig, the founder of the Emotional Freedom Technique, calls them “writings on your wall”. They form the “writings on your wall” from which you frequently consult in your everyday life.

If the “writings on your wall” tend to be negative and limiting, they can hinder you from taking risks, achieving your dreams or simply being the best that you can be. Here are some common examples of “writings on the wall” that are not very useful:

– “Don’t rock the boat.”
– “Don’t risk getting yourself hurt.”
– “Know where you come from.”
– “You are not all that capable.”
– “Don’t draw too much attention to yourself. No one likes a showoff.”

Positive affirmations are statements that can help replace these “writings on your wall”. They are great to use after clearing negative emotions and thoughts. Positive affirmations are great for financial abundance, enriching relationships and pursuing possibilities.

Hence, if repeating positive affirmations have not worked for you, find out why.

Why Aren’t Your Positive Affirmations Working?

1. Presence of Tail Enders

Perhaps one of the main reasons why positive affirmations do not work is because of the presence of tail enders. Tail enders are beliefs and thoughts that appear at the end of the affirmation.

Let me give you an easy example to illustrate what a tail ender is. Say your positive daily affirmation is “I easily and consistently make $50,000 a month”. Your tail enders may go like this….

– “But if I make $50,000 a month, I will have friends and relatives come borrow money from me.”

– “But if I make $50,000 a month, I will be known as rich by my friends and rich people are not nice.”

– “But if I make $50,000 a month, I will have to work very hard in my job to earn that and I will have no life left.”

– “But if I make $50,000 a month, my friends will not like me.”

– “But if I make $50,000 a month, women (or men) will want to be with me more for how much I make and not for whom I am.”

The list of tail enders can go on and on. You can have tail enders for just about any affirmation that you use for health, relationships, love, etc. So if you have been diligently saying your positive affirmations but find that they are not working, you may want to ask yourself if you’ve got some tail enders that are sabotaging your initial intent. Tail enders can easily reduce the effectiveness of your affirmations. It takes a while to unearth all the limiting tail enders but once you uncover them, you open up the opportunity to erase them. And you can do this with EFT.

2. Your Affirmation Is A Should.

You may make an affirmation which you do not really want. Often enough, people make affirmations because their parents say so, all their friends are doing so or it sounds like a good affirmation to affirm.

You may even have a tail ender that says this “I easily and consistently make $50,000 a month but I do not really want it.” In this example, it may be that you have other dreams, rather than just a money goal.

It is important that you make affirmations according to what you really want, rather than make them based on your shoulds. Your wants are aligned desires that come from within your soul and not from someone else’s dream.

3. Your Affirmation Is Not Realistic Enough.

If your affirmation appears to be a lofty goal to you, you may inadvertently set up tail enders that says it is too difficult to attain. Let’s use the first example again for illustration. For instance, if you currently make $1000 a month, then making an affirmation on “I easily and consistently make $50,000 a month” may be too much of a stretch to you.

Of course, you can use meridian tapping or Emotional Freedom Technique to erase the tail enders. But you may find yourself having to deal with a long list of negative sabotaging thoughts. It may be far easier to set an interim but more realistic affirmation; such as “I easily and consistently make $5,000 a month” and work your way up. You will find that you will have less obstacles to clear subconsciously, as you move up the ladder.

4. Your Affirmation Is Not Exciting Enough.

If your affirmation is not exciting enough, you may lose motivation. Affirmations must have enough “pull” for you to focus your intent on. For instance, from currently making $1,000 monthly, would $5,000 a month be a good enough affirmation for you to work on? I would think so.

Your affirmation also works best if you say it with some emotion. When you can actually “feel” your affirmation, its impact increases dramatically.

One important tip is that it is best that you do not let others know too much about your dreams and affirmations. Announcing them to people who are not very supportive and who have little understanding about what you are doing, can invite criticisms. They may just douse your enthusiasm, causing you to give up on your affirmation. Hence, it is best to keep things to yourself, focus your thoughts and get some results, before sharing your findings with others.

5. Your Positive Affirmation Is Not Made In The Present Tense.

Your affirmation is less effective if you use words like “I will be _________” instead of “I am ________ “. Of course, you may feel that it is inappropriate to affirm something that has not happened yet. But saying things in the present tense will program your subconscious mind to believe that what you affirm is already a fact. Once your subconscious mind believes that it is true, you will find yourself taking actions to make your goal a reality.

6. Your Affirmation Focuses On The Negative Rather Than Accentuating The Positive.

Think back about all your affirmations. Are you formulating them in the positive or in the negative sense? Affirmations made from a negative perspective will only draw your subconscious mind to your old habitual and limiting thoughts. They will not be as effective in bringing about desired positive outcomes.

“Positive anything is better than negative nothing.” Elbert Hubbard quotes (American editor, publisher and writer, 1856-1915)

7. Your Affirmation Is Not Supported By Your Dreams. 

You may associate dreams as something that is so big but which are unattainable. And so, you pooh pooh the idea of dreaming: why waste time imagining the impossible when dreams seldom come true?

Well, there is much value in daydreaming. And in case you believe so, daydreaming is not just for kids. When you daydream, you connect yourself with all possibilities. The act of daydreaming itself creates a nice feeling when you think “how nice if I would be if I can/am _________”. When you feel good, you start to exude a positive energy vibration. According to the Law of Attraction, you may well start to attract the opportunities that matches the same vibration.

“Dreams are like the paints of a great artist. Your dreams are your paints, the world is your canvas. Believing, is the brush that converts your dreams into a masterpiece of reality.”
— Unknown

Summary: Guidelines To Help Make Positive Affirmations A Success

1. Make affirmations short and succinct, with no tail enders.

2. Base your affirmations on wants and not shoulds.

3. Make them realistic.

4. Make your affirmations exciting enough.

5. State affirmations in the present tense.

6. State affirmations in the positive.

7. Augment your affirmations with dreams.

In short, before you conclude that positive affirmations do not work, go through this checklist first and see if you have made them correctly.

It is important to have fun while making affirmations. Adjust them from time to time to eliminate boredom. Cover your intent adequately with affirmations by focusing on different aspects of your goal and watch your desires unfold before you.

Mental Viruses That Obstruct Your Work Or Business Success

If you are not getting any real success at work or in business, can it be that your belief system is holding you back? A lack of success is perceived because your competitors or colleagues are scaling new heights and you don’t; or that your business or career is not growing like what you think it should. However, instead of a set of empowering beliefs and a can-do attitude, you are negative and highly stressed out. You work yourself to the bone, believing that hard work is the answer. You often complain that you are not earning enough and worse, if your results continue to be poor, you proclaim yourself to be a total failure!

Obviously, if you feel more positive about work, you are likely to attract more success. Yet empowering thoughts and beliefs are not as effective, if you do not first clear the current installation of your limiting ones. Just imagine your mind as a huge processing computer. The analogy of a mental virus has often been used to illustrate a thought that is toxic, causing you stress, discomfort and can eventually cause you a breakdown in health. Hence, you need to first delete, in your mind, the old infected software that has been preventing you from getting optimal results.

I write this post because I am reminded by the conversation my husband and I had with a friend, Belinda, over lunch yesterday. The discussion that followed, during the meal, was no less stimulating than how it has always been when we gather together. Similar to what my husband does, Belinda runs her own advisory services. I am reminded about how we choose to spend a greater proportion of our time discussing about the inner workings of the mind and our limiting thoughts and beliefs, for we often seen these as the main obstacles that stand in the way of success. The need to make difficult sales calls, marketing proposals, dealing with the occasional irate customers, providing a quality product and good service are challenges in their own right but if we can conquer how our minds work, we can overcome a lot of difficulties brought about by work.

A Checklist of Mental Viruses

Drawing on the many discussions I’ve had with Belinda and my husband, I’ve gathered some of the mental viruses that existed in our old software, so that you can determine if similar ones are limiting your work success.

– Although I think my services are worth more, I am afraid that my customers will not pay.

– Although I think my work is valuable, I dare not ask for more from my employers.

– This is the only way to do business because all other competitors are doing it this way.

– I am not as capable as my competitor or colleague.

– My competitors have all the luck and I don’t.

– Opportunities are hard to come by.

– I am not good enough.

– I am not a good salesperson.

– I cannot smooth talk.

– I do not have the necessary qualifications and experience to do well.

– Only hard work can help me or my business make more money.

– If I do well, I will lose all my friends.

– My business or I don’t need to be that successful.

– It’s good enough to survive.

– I don’t want to be too successful because my relatives and friends will want to borrow money.

– It’s too difficult to sell.

– It’s too tough to grow my business.

On the first look above, you may think that the list contains many points applying to the instance if you’re in business or in sales. However, as I see it, any job that you are in right now, is equivalent to being in the business. You are in the business of marketing and promoting yourself. Even if you are not in a front line job, you still need to compete for a promotion, prove to your boss and survive in the work environment.

Admittedly, many of these thoughts exist at the subconscious level. Hence, you may not even be aware that they may be blocking your path to success at work or in your business. I use a Kinesiology technique known as muscle testing to determine if they exist. If you are keen to know more about this technique, you can read this guide that I found on the web on how to muscle test. Alternatively, get an EFT practitioner who knows how to perform the test for you.

From the list, I’ve categorised the limiting beliefs into three main groups: not good enough, no luck or opportunity or fear of doing better.

Deleting Mental Virus of “Not Good Enough”

Not good enough just means low self worth. When you have limiting thoughts about your self worth, these are bound to affect how well you do in any type of work or business. Poor self worth results in a low energy vibrations being sent out. The Law of Attraction works but perhaps with not enough “pull” to win the customer or seal the business deal.

In the Palace of Possibilities, Gary Craig (the creator of the EFT tapping technique) talked about these beliefs as the writings on your wall. Your thoughts form beliefs which you believe are truths about yourself. He proposed erasing these writings on the wall and rewriting them with more empowering ones. Louis Hay, author of How to Heal Your Life, had similar findings. She recommended the idea that “it is only a thought and thoughts can be changed.” In fact, any other motivational or personal development coach will probably tell you the same about having to get rid of your mental clutter and empowering your mind with positive beliefs.

Hence, what’s there to say that if someone has done it before, and you can’t? What’s there to say that you are not worth every dollar that you decide to quote your customer? Delete your mental virus of not being good enough and build your self worth. Begin by learning how to love yourself first.

“Self-worth comes from one thing – thinking that you are worthy.” — Wayne Dyer

Deleting Mental Virus of “Lack of Opportunity” or “No Luck”

Would you rather believe that old adage “oppportunity only knocks once” and that you have missed it altogether; or would you prefer to believe that there are plenty of opportunities out there and that you should prepare yourself, so that you can seize the appropriate ones as they arise? Well, I would very much prefer to choose the latter.

“I will prepare and some day my chance will come.”
— Abraham Lincoln (American 16th US President (1861-65), who brought about the emancipation of the slaves. 1809-1865)

A good metaphor here is to think about having your antenna up. It is a fact that the Universe is abundant. The Universe is awashed with plenty of opportunities, as it thrives on growth and renewal. There is no scarcity but enough abundance for everyone: success, wealth, happiness, fulfillment, joy and spirituality.

So if there is an abundance of opportunities out there, you simply need to tune into them with the use of your antenna. If you ask me, you put your antenna into where the action is. And where the antenna is simply the marketplace of your business.

An opportunity often comes disguised in the form of adversity or problems: complaints by your customers of a defect in your product, a loophole in the processing system, a failed quality check, etc. If you are alert enough and your antenna “catches” the opportunity that lies beneath what is broken or defective, you are able to turn the situation around creatively.

“We are all faced with a series of great opportunities brilliantly disguised as impossible situations.”— AuntGranny Charles R. Swindoll (American Writer and Clergyman, b.1934)

In essence, the point is that it is possible to change the limiting thoughts in relation to the opportunities that your work or business faces. As for luck, read this famous quote

“Luck is what happens when preparation meets opportunity.” — Seneca

More about this point will be said further down the article.

Deleting Mental Virus of “It’s Good Enough To Survive”

If you are truly contented with how your work is currently doing, then there is no virus involved in this instance. Your software may need upgrading but at least, it is working and running okay. However, if there is no harmony within yourself, your software starts to malfunction. In everyday life, you simply fall ill. Health symptoms are typically a sign of imbalance. They can indicate the presence of a virus that is infecting you, causing a standstill or preventing you from flourishing and growing well.

Telling yourself “it’s good enough to survive” can point to the avoidance of fear. Perhaps it is not so much a question of inadequacy on your part but a fear of greatness. Fear holds you back from being at your highest potential or bringing your business to its best level. If you can remove your programming on fear, think about how much lives your work can impact and how much fulfilling work becomes.

“Everything I’ve ever done was out of fear of being mediocre. “— Chet Atkins

Of course, you must clearly distinguish what it is that is really preventing you from growing yourself at work. If you feel that you’ve got other priorities that are more important to you compared to work, then you are not in discord and there is no need to remove any viruses which were non-existent in the first place.

Get Rid Of The Mental Viruses

You remove mental viruses by either searching through your files to zap them one-by-one or with the aid of a detection-and-elimination software, before installing new and better programs. Using a detection-and-elimination or anti-virus software is obviously a much faster process. Some of these softwares form great resources which can help you leapfrog the process of inner healing.

You get to enjoy the benefits of greater joy and fulfillment, from healing internally, throughout all aspects of your life. Not to forget, changing the software in your head is a necessary preparation for the opportunity that is coming along, as much as it is necessary to help you bring your current work or business to the next level.

3 Basic Principles to The Art of Giving

Photo Credit: Krislitman

The Art of Giving is Giving in the overflow of abundance. It is Giving that is made with pure love, kindness and joy in excess. It comes from the generosity of your spirit. The most obvious act of giving that anybody can think of instantly, is the gift of a money donation. However, the Art of Giving extends to more than that. It is also the giving of inspiration; of visions, purpose and dreams. It is also the giving of words of encouragment; of hopes, anticipation and guidance. Other than gifts, it can also be made via an act of service, of selflessness, humanity and consideration for your friends and family. In another context, it can be an expression of gratitude in reciprocation of what you have received.

Of course, you can still give and not be alignment of what is described above. This is when your act is tainted and marked with negative thoughts and emotions, selfish desires or motives for self-appointed gains. However, when you do so, you cannot expect to receive more in true value than what you have given. (Note also that you cannot measure the value of what you receive by a dollar amount. Rather, the true measurement of what you receive from the Universe/God is the sum total of all your blessings: love, health, wealth, relationships, time, joy and bliss.)

Upon reflection, you may say that you have not been previously consciously aware that your motives are self serving and meant only to exalt your ego. But yes…you most certainly can identify with the feeling that you have not been all that happy in your life. And that is why you are reading this article to look for some clues and answers.

Greater awareness on this topic can certainly put you on the path of greater healing and change. When you do not know the Art of Generous and Pure Giving, it is as good as not being able to live life with experiencing joy and bliss at the highest levels.

Nevertheless, it is important to remember the past is the past. It’s time to make a change so that you can experience the fullest state of Being.

“Our care should not be to have lived long as to have lived enough.” —- Seneca

Not Having Enough To Spare?

You may then protest “What a minute here; I can’t give what I do not have.”

May I dare propose that you may be looking at things narrowly. More often than not, it would be the lack of money that you are referring to.

In the Art of Giving, I’m talking about being generous in a number of ways. As I have demonstrated in my previous post, even a small Random Act of Kindness can spread and bring about an avalanche of goodness to the world.

“The life I touch for good or ill will touch another life, and that in turn another, until who knows where the trembling stops or in what far place my touch will be felt.” — Frederick Buechner

I may like to add that I have no intention of suggesting that you should give all the cash that you’ve got. I’d be a hypocrite to suggest that you should live in poverty and to give all that you’ve earned, when I don’t do this myself.

I remember when I was young and life was somehat a struggle because there was not enough nice food on the table or luxuries to buy. (Lunch for me for 5 days a week was porridge with fried fish. This was considered already luxurious compared to my father’s younger days where a special treat was comprised of plain rice with a chicken neck dipped in soya sauce. I am not kidding!!!). But guess what? The policy then in our home, as dictated by my grandmother, was always to have an open door. Any friend or neighbour who walked by would be invited for a meal. There was no question of what abundance meant to her (see above photo for the perfect illustration): There would always be enough rice to go round!

I am also pretty sure that if she is still alive today, her policy will not change, even in the face of rising crop prices. *Sniff* (at the memory of her).

What I would like to suggest, instead, is about Giving in gradual steps. As you start to experience more abundance from your first act of kindness, it becomes easier to give more and more back to others. This is a natural law of Abundance. Abundance must be allowed to flow freely and limitlessly. When you give and receive continuously, a never ending stream of Abundance will flow through you. Abundance should never be halted or saved up in any way.

Here are 3 basic principles to the Art of Giving…..

Principle #1 to The Art of Giving: Give Unconditionally

I had in fact, covered this point in my last post on a Random Act of Kindness. When you give from your heart, you are not hoping to receive anything in return. An act of kindness to a random stranger and made anonymously allows you the opportunity to do just that.

Likewise, when you give to those that you know, give with the gladness of your heart. You have intended in your higher consciousness to be connected with them in this life somehow. Why then should you choose to strain your physical relationships with strife, jealousy and selfishness? Choose, instead, to give and nuture each other other’s hopes and dreams.

Principle #2 to The Art of Giving: Give What You Wish For

The suspicious sees everyone as highly suspect. The liar sees that there is no need to tell the truth. The miser believes that everyone is out to get his money. The fearful sleeps with a revolver under his pillow. The abandoned sees hopelessness in the face of Sprituality. They continue to perpectuate the energies of negativity. They attract for that which they are.

Whatever you are, so it is in your world. Your physical reality is a reflection of what goes on inside your mind. Your reality mirrors what your mind focuses on. If your mind is focused on abundance, it can be seen in the wealth you enjoy. If your mind is focused on lack, it can be seen in the scarcity in the environment that you live in. Depending on your thoughts, you can be in the universe of beauty, light and bliss or you can be buried way underground in sorrow, ugliness and pain. You draw towards you, experiences that match the same energy vibration of that which you sent out. This is in essence the Law of Attraction.

It goes to show that you need to give, what you wish for. For when you dwell in thoughts of love, trust and hope, you get these delivered back to you.

“Do you wish for kindness. Be kind.
Do you ask for truth. Be true.
What you give of yourself you find
Your world is a reflex of you.”
—- The Science of Getting Rich

A word of reminder though. The second principle should be read closely with the first principle. While it is reasonable to expect what you hope to receive, do not get attached to the outcome. Sometimes, what you receive may come in a different physical form. At other times, you may not receive what you give out in the same proportion. It may well be that the Universe/God has something else in store for you. Do not question. But believe that good begets good.

“Life begets life. Energy becomes energy. It is by spending oneself that one becomes rich.”
— Sarah Bernhardt

Here’s an Asian story with an important lesson to learn.

Once there was a young couple who lived with the husband’s father. The old man was frail, with weak legs. As a result, the young couple found him troublesome, having to tend to his every need. They were also constantly annoyed by the old man’s complaints.

Finally, the couple plotted to get rid of him. The man put his father in a large basket which he slung over his shoulder. As he was about the leave the house, the man’s son, who was a young boy, asked “Father, where are you taking grandfather?”

The man hestitated for a moment and decided to reveal the truth. He told his son that he was going to bring grandfather out into the forest and leave him there. The boy watched his father silently, who was preparing to leave the house.

Just as his father was walking away, he shouted to the father “Father, don’t forget to bring back the basket!” His father was surprised and turned his head to ask his son why.

His son replied “Such a large basket is not easy to find. I’ll need the basket to carry you when you are old yourself.” With this reply, the father decided not to kick the old man out and resolved to take good care of his own father.

Principle #3 to the Art of Giving: Give Thanks For What You Have

The Art of Giving also encompasses an expresssion of thanks. To your family and friends, Giving is in the form of a gift, service or words of encouragement or inspiration. To the Universe/God, giving is saying words of gratitude for what you have been blessed. Just like how you would thank a friend with a gift or a word, it is important to honor your blessings on a spiritual basis.

“Gratefulness is the key to a happy life that we hold in our hands, because if we are not grateful, then no matter how much we have we will not be happy — because we will always want to have something else or something more.” Brother David Steindl-Rast

An appreciation of thanks should be made on a regular basis and not just during Thanksgiving Day. There are untold benefits with just saying thanks. When you cultivate a sense of gratitude, your mind is saying “yes” to the positive experiences that occur in your life. The Universe/God responds by giving more of that to you.

Here is a simple analogy. Say if a friend buys you a gift. If you like the gift, you say “thanks for the gift.” Your friend feels happy. He is incentivised to buy you another one, because he connects with the joy that he is experiencing in his heart. On the other hand, if you do not like the gift and worse, do not show your sense of appreciation, he is not likely to be motivated to give you anything again. It is the same with the Universe. It gives you more and more of the positive outcomes that you show appreciation for.

It is a good idea to give thanks in the form of a prayer. See the fullness of what life is like for you at this stage. Do not focus on the gaps that you see. Instead, just be grateful for what you have. A mind that is creative will see the beauty in everything that is about: the soft glow of the sun peaking through the dark clouds, the yellow flower that blooms in the lonely sidewalk and the crisp rain that cleanses the dirty streets.

Say it in all sincerity and with joy in your heart. Here’s a Thanksgiving prayer by a well known writer, to end this post….

For each new morning with its light,
For rest and shelter of the night,
For health and food,
For love and friends,
For everything Thy goodness sends.
Ralph Waldo Emerson (1803-1882)

A Random Act of Kindness: 15 Ideas To Kickstart Your Intention

Have you come across this phrase “random act of kindness”? What is it? What does it mean to do one?

Here is how Wikipedia definites a random act of kindness….

“A random act of kindness is a purportedly selfless act performed by a person or persons wishing to either assist or cheer up an individual or in some cases even an animal. There will generally be no reason other than to make people smile, or be happier. Either spontaneous or planned in advance, random acts of kindness are encouraged by various communities.”

In 1982, California peace activist Ann Herbert scribbled on a placemat in a restuarant “Practice random acts of kindness and senseless acts of beauty.” The words left an impression on a fellow diner, who later told the phrase to others. The words inspired much thought and conversation, including the movie “Pay it Forward” in 2000. An international bestseller also helped to catapult this concept .

There is now a World Kindness Movement. I also found out to my surprise, while doing a google search, that many of the meetings by this movement is being held here from Singapore (my country).

Why Bother To Make A Random Act of Kindness

Perhaps, you may be wondering why bother to make your act of kindness Random? Isn’t it enough to be kind to your family members, friends and colleagues or at least, to the people that you come into contact with?

Well, commiting a random act of kindness is a demonstration of the generosity of your spirit. Kindness is an expression of love. It is an abundance concept. It is the thinking that you are full of love for your fellow human kind that you’ve got more to give, even to strangers or people that you don’t really know.

A random act of kindness is a manifestation of an abundance mindset!

Sure, you do have to start with being kind to those nearest to you. However, when you commit an act randomly, maybe anonymously as well, you are extending an energy of love, hope, trust and support to the Universe.

Making a random act of kindness is fulfilling in itself. It provides you the opportunity for expansive awareness, a chance to explore your potential for human divinity. While you may have commited your act to benefit the recipient and not to ask for anything in return, you get untold benefits in terms of joy and purpose that you have served others. Do it often enough, it’s no longer called random; it’s kindness that permeats all levels of your Being.

“Some measure their lives by days and years,
Others by heart throbs, passion and tears;
But the surest measure under the sun,
Is what in your lifetime for others you have done.”
— Ruth Smeltzer

Random Act of Kindness To Dissolve Random Act of Violence

As it is often discussed, random acts of kindness is today’s antitode to random acts of terrorism and violence.

You continue to read in the papers about intricate plots by terrorist groups, bent on crashing or bombing planes killing randomly all on board. These are usually sensational news, perhaps meant to highlight to you the importance about being vigiliant and to treasure peace and security. At the same time, how often do you read of reported cases of random acts of kindness?

If random acts of kindess can be encouraged, they can overshadow acts of senseless killing, bringing about a More Loving World. The threat of terrorism is a dense negative energy that you probably instinctively experience, whenever you come across such news. You feel it in the chill of your spine, thinking about how potentially destructive terrorism can be.

It’s good to be aware that random acts of kindness can dissolve this negative energy, bringing the Universe to much light. Then, maybe, these so-called random acts of kindness will not be occuring at an infrequent time space reality but much as a way of life.

 

How To Make A Random Act of Kindness

It’s more than likely that you’ve ever committed a random act of kindness. To make this a conscious process, simply form an intention to be kind and start with an act today. You may be tempted to think that an act of kindness often involves the giving of money or the buying of gifts. However, it need not necessarily be so.

It can be as simple as sending a card, doing a unsolicated task for those in need or letting others in a hurry to get ahead of you in line.As with everything, the more often you do it, the more it becomes a habit. Your next act can seem small to you but may mean a lot to the recipient!Aesop once said…

“No act of kindness, no matter how small, is ever wasted.”

 

My Random Act of Kindness

Here’s my random act of kindness that I would like to share. I’ve often noticed irate drivers while parking my car in shopping centers during peak hours. Cars will be circling round waiting for a slot.I may have entered the carpark later but more often than not, I would get a slot pretty fast. It helps that I use the three-fingers technique from the Silva Method to “intend” for an empty lot quickly.

If I’m not in a hurry, I may just graciously give it up to a driver of another car, waiting some distance away. I do not focus on the fact that it may take ages for me to find another empty space. Instead, I’ll just wait around and use the Silva Method to “manifest” another free opening for my car!!

The three-fingers technique is a simple technique to learn. Simply put your first three fingers together and program yourself by going into the alpha level and state that it will always be easy for you to find the shortest queue, a free parking space or not having to wait to get tickets.

Each finger apparently represents a subjective energy, desire, belief and expectancy. Together, the three implies faith. Visualisation is key to success for this method. When you next encounter the situation, simply put your three fingers together and visualise the picture of your desired intent. Viola!! You will be surprised by the results.

Well, yesterday was no exception. I was parking my car on a Sunday in a busy mall. A perfect opportunity presented itself for me to commit a random act of kindness.

14 Other Examples For A Random Act of Kindness To Pick From

If you are busted for ideas, here are 14 more examples to kickstart your intention for a random act of kindness:

1. Pay the toll for the person behind you.

This is perhaps the most common example cited. If you’re at a motorway toll booth, pay for the car behind.

2. Donate to a charitable cause.
Turn your papers today to look for a charitable cause to donate to. Forget about the tax break for larger donation sums, even if it is a small amount that you can afford.

3. Send an anonymous card.
Think about someone who deserves to know that he or she is worthy of love or as an acknowledgement of what he or she has done. How often have we been rendered good customer service and a “thank you” is all we give? How about taking it one step further? Send a card. You may not even want to sign off with your name.

4. Deliver a goodie basket made with love.
Bake muffins or cookies and send them to the old folk’s or children’s home.

5. Be kind to your environment.
Avoid littering your environment. Treat your environment with loving care and kindness. While at the beach, pick up the rubbish.

6. Cheer the disspirited.
Grab a bunch of flowers and give it to the cleaner of the toilets in your office building. He or she may be looking somewhat disspirited while slogging away at a less-than glamourous job.

7. Let the person in a hurry behind, go before you.
If you are not in a hurry but notice that the person behind you is, let him or her go first. Here you are showing kindness by giving up your time.

8. Lend a helping hand to a distraught parent.
Kids missing in shopping centers or in public areas occur very often. Parents are often distraught. Offer to help look for these kids.

9. Give up your seat in the public bus to the weary soul.
While it may not take all that much for you to give up your seat in a crowded public bus to the pregnant or the elderly, how about giving up your seat to just any passenger who looks weary or who is carrying a heavy bag?

10. Offer your hand in carrying groceries at the supermarket.
If you notice someone who is struggling with carrying bags of groceries, offer to help lighten their load.

11. Be kind to stray cats or dogs.
The practice of loving kindness should not just extend to your fellow human race. You should also show kindness to animals. If you notice a stray cat or dog, do the right thing and not kick it away!

12. Do a secret act of service.
If you notice a neighbour or a colleague in need of some assistance, how about rendering the help secretly? It can be mowing your neighbour’s untidy lawn or it can be sorting out some files for your colleague. Leave an anonymous card that says “please pay it forward”.

13. Give up your lunch to the needy.
How about skipping your expensive lunch today and donating the money away? Or you can buy lunch and give it to the begger on the street round the corner. Consider having just a salad for yourself instead.

14. Volunteer your help randomly.
Pick randomly a family or someone in crisis. Don’t know where to look? Search your local newspaper for leads. Determine if you can offer in kind or in service.

15. Return Lost Items.
If you’ve picked up a lost item, write a short note with your contact details and place it at the location where you’ve found it.

This list is by no means exhaustive. The idea is to be creative and spontaneous. Be on the prowl over the next few days for an unsuspecting recipient.

“The only ones among you who will be truly happy are those who have sought and found how to serve.”— Albert Schweitzer, Nobel Prize Winner

Love and abundance always,