How to Overcome the Fear of Success
It sounds ridiculous that anyone can have the fear of success. However, the fear of success is as psychologically valid as the fear of failure. In fact, the fear of success is often not as easily detectable because it lies in your subconscious. It is through recognizing repeated self-sabotaging behavior that you can possibly deduce that you may just be having this fear.
There is a difference between the fear of success and the fear of failure. The fear of failure is the fear of making mistakes, fear of falling short and fear of not reaching your intended goal. Conversely, the fear of success is the deliberate (although rooted in the subconscious) subversion to success that you already know is reachable.
Here are some examples:
– Shawn who grows his firm to a certain size and then refuses to expand further, because he prefers to limit his vision.
– Lucy who manages to succeed in losing weight after six months of exercise and healthy eating, only to put it back on shortly.
– Amelia with a track record of attracting nice men but sabotages her relationship each time by calling it quits before the wedding day. Think Julie Robert’s role in the show Runaway Bride.
– Crystal who refuses to grow her abilities further because it may mean more social responsibilities.
My Fear of Success
I admit it. I have had the fear of success. I have not been able to recognize it at first. Initially, I had misinterpreted my obstacles as insufficient strategizing, marketing incompetence, lack of technical skills, insufficient support and so on. Sure, these could have played a part. Then one day, there was an inner voice that said it was the subconscious dread of doing well.
In my case, I would thwart my intention by putting one out to the universe about my big dream, only to send another conflicting one that says, “nah, I don’t really want it all that much”. The second intent cancels out the first. I find myself having to deal with a part of me that wants it and a part of me that does not.
I have been fearful that becoming more successful will mean more responsibilities. It would mean taking away the time flexibility that I am currently enjoying. I recalled the times when I clinched more sales but I was not necessarily happier, because I had to work much harder.
What is the Fear of Success
After it became clear to me that my fear of success was holding me back, I set about finding out more. I arrived at the following explanations.
Fear of success is the projected fear of negative consequences or side-effects from what success can potentially bring. Hence, you are essentially acknowledging that success can result in both positive and negative consequences. Your aversion to the thought of negative consequences is more than the pleasure to the thought of positive consequences.
Projected negative consequences can be any one of the following:
– You will enjoy less time for yourself.
– You will have to assume more responsibilities.
– You will have less time with your family.
– You will have to hire more employers and that will mean more headache because you have to be concerned about worker motivation, office space and so on.
– You will have to uphold a higher set of standards because you are now a leader.
– Others will envy or be jealous of you.
– You do not like to deal with changes to routine.
– You suspect that you would not be as happy.
– You believe that it will mean never-ending work.
– You do not like being famous.
– You believe that the higher you climb, the harder you will fall.
Overcome the Fear of Success
It is best to address the fear of success. Bear in mind that fear, of any form, is not a good thing. It creates internal conflict. It sabotages your best efforts. And you wonder why it is so difficult for the law of attraction to work in your favor.
Here are some negative consequences from having the fear of success
– Lack of motivation
– Downplaying of dreams
– Slow progress.
– Sustained underachievement
– Internal confusion about what you really want.
– Negative emotions such as guilt, shame, denial, envy and so on.
– Disconnected with your true self.
Root Beliefs. When you trace the projections from the fear of success, they are likely to be related to beliefs such as “I am not deserving”, “I am not worthy” or “I am not good enough”. Here is how it might look like for you:
“I am not deserving to have all the good things that come with success.”
“I am not worthy of real success.”
“I am not good enough to cope with what success can bring.”
“I am not capable of attracting loving support from others.”
“I am not good enough to deal with change.”
Psychology. Shrinks have been studying the problem since 1915, when Freud wrote an essay called “Those Wrecked by Success.” He observed the “surprising and even bewildering” tendency of some people to fall apart “precisely when a deeply rooted and long-cherished wish has come to fulfillment…as though they were not able to tolerate happiness.” Freud described the fear of success as a perceived need to fail, not an option or a desire but a need. In fact, some people develop the identity of a failure and in order to maintain it, they consciously or subconsciously sabotage everything that could prevent them from fulfilling this self-image.
In psychology, this will be known as “secondary gain”. It means having an external reason that makes it worthwhile to keep holding on to the dysfunctional behavior or undesirable condition. For example, you may prefer to be sick because it may mean that you can skip work/school, gain sympathy, or get to drink your favorite chicken soup. Very often, you are not aware of the reason behind the “secondary gain”. What is the case is that your subconscious perceives that you are better off being stuck than having to end up with potential negative consequences by making a change.
The term that is used to address “secondary gain” is also called “psychological reversal”. It refers to when you have lived with your sabotaging behavior or emotions for so long that you have assumed that it is normal. Addressing your psychological reversal offers you freedom to work on the actual root issue. Addressing psychological reversals can be achieved via emotional healing. What’s great is that there are many who have addressed self-sabotage successfully!
Awareness to the Fear of Success
Obviously, the earlier you can detect the fear of success, the better. You already have what it takes to succeed. What remains to be done is addressing any impediments that prevent you from enjoying the faster attainment of your goals.
When you start to acknowledge your resistance, acceptance takes place amazingly. Fear dissipates. The Law of Attraction works favorably. Success should not be too far away.
Abundance Always,
Evelyn Lim
Abundance Alchemy Coach (For coaching/healing services, check out info here).
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Have you got a fear of success? How did you manage to overcome yours? What useful tips can you share?
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Evelyn Reply:
August 24th, 2011 at 9:14 am
Good for you, Rob. It’s great that you learn never to sacrifice your desires just to please your ego. It will be nice if we can all do or be the same. Unfortunately, for many, the fear of success is insidious. We won’t actually know that we have it until we start to review our life. Early detection obviously helps. A possible way, though, is to create enough awareness to hear the limiting “No”.
Shine from Your Soul,
Evelyn
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