10 Signs of Emotional Bullying: How to Spot Them
Emotional bullying is when a person tries to get what he or she wants by making another feel afraid, small and helpless.
It can happen in a children’s playground. Or it can happen in adult relationships. These days, emotional bullying can also take place online.
Emotional bullying brings about negative effects. If it is made repeatedly, the victim’s mental health can decline. Victims end up with depression, anxiety, shame, guilt and fear, and have difficulties showing up fully at work or in their business. Emotional wounds can create leaks in attracting money and abundance too.
Fortunately, it is possible for anyone to work on healing emotional wounds. In some situations, victims are not able to recognise that they have been bullied. Well, it is important for anyone to learn how to identify the signs so that you can tell if there has been bullying.
10 Automatic Negative Thoughts that You Need to Let Go of
Do you find yourself having negative thoughts that seem to pop in automatically?
Our minds are often programmed to think more negatively that positively. Automatic negative thoughts are often cognitive distortions. The American Psychological Association defines cognitive distortions as “faulty or inaccurate thinking, perception or belief.” For some people, cognitive distortions are a pattern of thinking that can lead to chronic anxiety, depression, and behavioural problems such as substance abuse.
Most of us have not been trained to observe our thoughts. It’s possible to be more aware about what our behaviour is like or even how we are feeling. Yet, what is driving our behaviour are our feelings that are also influenced by our thoughts.
Cognitive distortions formed the subject of study by Dr Aaron Beck. He proposed that we challenge our irrational and faulty thinking. Once we can break free from them, we are in a better position to change our behaviour.
EFT Tapping: Raise Your Energy Levels in the Morning
Do you sometimes wake up feeling tired but you’d really like to feel more energised and be in a better state of mind than yesterday?
Well, I’d like to share with you a morning routine that you can do. Tapping in the mornings have helped me to ground myself, become more energised and ready to go. In fact, many of my private clients got inspired to tap in the mornings as part of their daily routine.
So if you feel like you are needing a positive boost, I’d like to invite you to join me in this EFT tapping session…Continue reading
EFT Tapping Circle: What Are Group Borrowing Benefits
“Borrowing Benefits” is one of the most profound discoveries in EFT tapping circles. It happens when we come together in a group to clear negative emotions or limiting benefits. “Borrowing Benefits” is the discovery that simply watching other participants do EFT on their issues, while tapping along with them, reduces the emotional intensity of our own issues. It is as if we are “borrowing” the positive energetic shifts, even though we are not directly working on our own.
To begin with, our issues may or may not be the same as what another member of the group is going through. However, just by observing and tapping along on the issues that belong to another group member, we can potentially experience a reduction in the stress or tension that we have in relation to our own issues. This phenomena is also pretty much aligned with the concepts that “everything is energy” and that we are all inter-connected.
Continue readingEFT Tapping: Release Stress from The Rise in Cost of Living
Feeling the pinch lately?
Noticed that food and oil prices have been rising?
Feeling uneasy, tensed and concerned about the economy and its impact on the value of your money?
Tap along with me to release stress and fear, so that you can step into greater ease and opportunities…
How to Heal Your Invisible Childhood Wounds
We may not realise at first that we have been carrying childhood wounds, so any talk about healing will be considered moot.
Childhood wounds are, after all, invisible to us.
And if we can’t see them through our naked eye, why does it matter whether we are carrying them or not?
Well, it may well explain contributing reasons behind our current day issues like
- anxiety
- depression
- constant insecurity
- low self-esteem
- inability to find loving relationships
- inability to have better success,
- etc
In other words, just because we can’t visually see our wounds does not mean that they don’t exist.
As I understand, according to Sigmund Freud, they are hidden in the deep recesses of our psyche, buried deep in the unconscious. We repress our pain, hurt and anger in these wounds. Because they are yet to be resolved, they can blindside us. It is why we are often in self-sabotage.
Thus, if we don’t heal our past wounds, they can bleed into everything that we do or encounter today.
“We have to listen to the child we once were, the child who still exists inside us. That child understands magic moments. We can stifle its cries, but we cannot silence its voice.The child we once were is still there.” Paul Coelho
EFT Tapping: Heal from the Inside-Out
What does it mean to heal from the inside-out?
Well, according to naturopathic doctors, the symptoms that we see on the outside is a manifestation of what is going on from the inside. Symptoms are often the body’s way of signalling to us that something has gone wrong and we need to investigate. If our health issues are chronic or we are in bad pain, it means that there could be an underlying root cause. When we heal from the inside-out, we are addressing the problem at a deep level. We are not just slapping on a bandaid to cover up the bleeding on the inside.
The 3Ps of Shame and How You Can Let Them Go
The 3Ps of Shame can be found in People-pleasing, Perfectionism and Procrastination.
People-pleasing – refers to seeking approval from others and pleasing others in their needs and wants and often at the sacrifice of our own.
Perfectionism – the need to be perfect in the way we are, do or have and the refusal to accept flaws, imperfection or mistakes.
Procrastination – refers to the constant postponement of activities & employing distraction tactics, so that we can hide from our shame.
How EFT Tapping for Inner Child Healing Works
Applying EFT Tapping for Inner Child
EFT tapping for inner child healing involves using our fingertips to tap on specific meridian points on the face and body for addressing childhood wounds. As our physical reactions today could be tied to issues that stem from childhood, applying EFT is effective because unhealed emotions can get trapped and the body keeps the score. Even though the past is long gone, it is possible to heal in the now by applying tapping.
Download this resource page on EFT Tapping for Your Inner Child.
Women often approach me for help to deal with their stress. Their stress can be anything from dealing with a money or work-related challenge, relationship problems, not feeling “good enough”, low self-love to anxiety issues. They would have been holding on to anger, worry, insecurity and frustration for a long time before asking for help. (Understandably, most of us face resistance with getting assistance.)
Some would share about experiencing the same repetitive themes of abandonment and rejection in their lives. Thus, when we get together in a session, we usually begin by patiently peeling off the layers to determine the root cause of their issues. Invariably, we would find out that these issues stem from their past – primarily in childhood. As a result, we are led to working on healing their inner child.
How to Clear Unfinished Business and Reset Your Energy System
When we clear unfinished business, we are better able to reset our energy system or even rebooting it – so that we can invite in new possibilities.
What does it mean to clear unfinished business?
Clearing unfinished business involves letting go of old attachments, meeting unfulfilled promises, and honouring what we said that we would do. We work on clearing unfinished business because these outstanding items can create a drag in our energy system and can potentially be a stopper for starting things on a clean slate.
In terms of agreements, these could be contractual ones that we have made with an external body; such as getting into a housing loan agreement. Or they could be simply promises that we have made to our loved ones and even ourselves. Examples include
- making a commitment for fidelity
- saying “yes” to accompanying our partners for an engagement (even though we are not that interested and prefer to stay home)
- offering to help out a friend
- returning a small debt owed to our parents or relatives
- agreeing to pay our share for a split restaurant bill
- doing our share of household chores etc
It’s easy to forget the “smaller” promises that we have made but over time, these could add up and weigh on us. We repel abundance when we consistently don’t honour what we said we would do. Our promises don’t count if we have no intention of following through.
Unfinished business also can include grievances, hurts and conflicts that have been left unresolved. These create emotional debris. Even though we may not be conscious of them all the time, they take up space in our energetic system.
Learn more about Clearing Unfinished Business Below
Positive Outcomes from Clearing Unfinished Business
There are benefits to clearing up unfinished business as quickly as possible. We wouldn’t want to wait till we are on our deathbed to recall the promises that we’ve not yet kept. It certainly doesn’t serve us to hold on to any outstanding item year after year.
- We even up any score that is left hanging at the back of our subconscious minds when we work on meeting our obligations. At the same time, we also prevent self-sabotage from taking place. In the physical dimension, we follow through with clear intent and action. We are in congruence – body, mind and spirit.
- Our relationship with money improves. Not forgetting, many contracts and agreements involve money. When we keep to the terms of our agreement, we are in integrity. As a result we raise our energetic frequency that brings about more expansiveness, which also supports our ability to attract abundance.
- Relationships with our partners also improve where we honour the promises that we make. Trust increases. We feel more grounded and secure in relationships where both parties keep to their word.
- By releasing old attachments to the past, we create space for new relationships or to rejuvenate existing ones. Clearing unfinished business may require us to cut cords with negative or toxic people in our lives, let go of old grievances, practice forgiveness and move on to creating new and more fulfilling relationships.
What To Do Next: Create a List of Outstanding Items for Unfinished Business
Here are some reflection questions for you…
- What are the promises that you have made to yourself or others that you haven’t quite met?
- Are there any contracts or agreements that you have said “yes” to but there are remaining terms that you have not quite followed through on?
- Any outstanding debts or loans to attend to? How is your plan to meet your obligations like?
- Any old relationship ties that you need to say good-bye to?
- Any grievances or grudges to resolve?
- What past emotional baggage does it serve your highest interest to let go of?
Once you’ve created a list, prioritise the items according to how much lighter and freer you are going to feel as a result of clearing it. Create an action plan for working through the list and also specifying dates and timelines. Check off your list as you complete the items.
Clearing unfinished business is one of the modules in my course on Changing Your Relationship with Money. Alternatively, apply for a discovery call if you need personal help to work on clearing unfinished business.
Create more energetic space to invite in the new!
Love and abundance always,
Evelyn
Abundance Coach for Women Solopreneurs