Have you watched the movie, Everything Everywhere All at Once?
I had the opportunity to watch the show on the Singapore Airlines flight I was on while traveling to Japan.
Well, Everything Everywhere All at Once gives us a peak at first about how one often defaults to getting by and living an ordinary existence. Indeed, for the protagonist (Evelyn Wang played by Michelle Yeoh), there is nothing more certain than having to plough through piles of bills to compile taxes, cleaning other people’s laundry, and taking care of a grumpy aged parent. Beneath the relentless rush to fulfil chores, life is about needing to please, meeting societal expectations, and also keeping up with the ridiculous facade that all is well.
It would take a fantastical trip through the layers of the multiverse for Evelyn to gather some important lessons. Suddenly, she had to question all that she knew about life. While jumping in the multiverse, she had to find herself, reconcile with lost dreams, and review her choices. Through it all, Evelyn had to discover meaning in the time-space reality that she is in.
Steven Covey in his best-selling book, The 7 Habits of Highly Effective People, first coined the terms of a scarcity mindset and an abundance mindset. Scarcity mindset refers to the paradigm of looking at life as finite, as if there is a limited number of pieces in a pie. On the other hand, an abundance mindset refers to the paradigm where there is enough and there is plenty for everyone.
Here’s how Stephen Covey describes the Scarcity Mindset…
Most people are deeply scripted in what I call the Scarcity Mentality. They see life as having only so much, as though there were only one pie out there. And if someone were to get a big piece of the pie, it would mean less for everybody else.
The Scarcity Mentality is the zero-sum paradigm of life. People with a Scarcity Mentality have a very difficult time sharing recognition and credit, power or profit – even with those who help in the production. The also have a a very hard time being genuinely happy for the success of other people.
A money date is one where you are working on your finances; whether on your own, with your partner or team. It is one where you specify a day and time on your calendar for a money-related activity that is meant to help you consolidate, improve and/or strengthen your personal or joint financial position. It may be that you need to work on
budgeting for a trip,
creating a spreadsheet to monitor expenses,
discussing with your partner on financial options,
reviewing your earnings,
finding better ways to minimise tax,
paying down your loans,
moving of investment funds between accounts,
getting updated advice from your financial planner,
create a financial plan to help you manifest the lifestyle that you want etc.
By scheduling money dates on a regular basis, you are better able to identify gaps, opportunities and ideas instead of making any personal financial activity as a once-a-year event.
Would you like to be inspired by money healing stories?
Well, I’d like to share some that belonged to my clients. I have had the privilege of helping them attain a mindset breakthrough that resulted in a change in their finances. For a long time, they were struggling with limiting beliefs that blocked the flow of money and their ability to generate better income. Most carried emotional money wounds that stemmed from the past.
Their money healing stories are transformative. They had to confront their fears and release their attachment to beliefs formed since young. I’m thankful to my clients for giving me a firsthand chance to learn about how it is possible to rewrite our stories for healing and greater empowerment. To protect their privacy, I have used pen names for them.
Money Healing Story #1: Breaking Free of Glass Income Ceiling
No matter how much effort she put in, Annie couldn’t seem to break through her glass income ceiling for her business. She’s constantly having money worries and that she’d never have enough. While we were working together, Annie experienced an “aha” moment. She suddenly realised how her unconscious limit in earnings came about.
Her dad had struggled to make a living when she was young. Unfortunately, Annie internalised some of the messages he had shared with her about his money troubles. During our session, she “saw” the amount that was written on the cheques he had been banking in from his job. To her surprise, it was the same amount that she has been earning for a long time from her business.
Annie worked on letting go of her glass ceiling. She gave herself the permission to make more than her dad. Annie no longer limits herself on what she can earn. As a result of her inner work, she has been generating income breakthroughs ever since. Annie found herself attracting bigger and bigger deals for her business.
When it comes to healing money wounds, there are two important considerations:
1. Healing needs to involve the emotional layer.
2. Healing of money wounds is best resolved at root cause.
Let me explain more.
1. Healing Emotionally
The money behaviour or situation that you are in is influenced by what’s going on internally – your thoughts and feelings.
For some people, any talk about money tends to conjure plenty of negative feelings.
Feelings such as worry, frustration, sadness, anger and so on.
However, when emotions run high, they create a block or disrupt our energy system.
Our clarity and ability to process thoughts get reduced and we also find ourselves less able to take the necessary action that will help us improve our financial position.
Unfortunately, a block in our ability to manifest financial abundance can also impact our business or to get a job with a pay that we deserve.
“Borrowing Benefits” is one of the most profound discoveries in EFT tapping circles. It happens when we come together in a group to clear negative emotions or limiting benefits. “Borrowing Benefits” is the discovery that simply watching other participants do EFT on their issues, while tapping along with them, reduces the emotional intensity of our own issues. It is as if we are “borrowing” the positive energetic shifts, even though we are not directly working on our own.
To begin with, our issues may or may not be the same as what another member of the group is going through. However, just by observing and tapping along on the issues that belong to another group member, we can potentially experience a reduction in the stress or tension that we have in relation to our own issues. This phenomena is also pretty much aligned with the concepts that “everything is energy” and that we are all inter-connected.
We may not realise at first that we have been carrying childhood wounds, so any talk about healing will be considered moot.
Childhood wounds are, after all, invisible to us.
And if we can’t see them through our naked eye, why does it matter whether we are carrying them or not?
Well, it may well explain contributing reasons behind our current day issues like
anxiety
depression
constant insecurity
low self-esteem
inability to find loving relationships
inability to have better success,
etc
In other words, just because we can’t visually see our wounds does not mean that they don’t exist.
As I understand, according to Sigmund Freud, they are hidden in the deep recesses of our psyche, buried deep in the unconscious. We repress our pain, hurt and anger in these wounds. Because they are yet to be resolved, they can blindside us. It is why we are often in self-sabotage.
Thus, if we don’t heal our past wounds, they can bleed into everything that we do or encounter today.
“We have to listen to the child we once were, the child who still exists inside us. That child understands magic moments. We can stifle its cries, but we cannot silence its voice.The child we once were is still there.” Paul Coelho
Does your mind focus on scarcity and “not having enough”?
It’s possible to be focused on the lack and have poverty consciousness even if you have money in the bank and it doesn’t make logical sense to be counting the pennies.
This can happen if your reptilian brain or nervous system is activated in fight-flight-freeze mode and due to past conditioning.
If so, I’d like to invite you to work on letting go of the conditioning.
Tap along with me, so that you can let go of a lack mentality and align with abundance consciousness.
Let me know how the tapping session went for you.
Love and Abundance Always, Evelyn Lim Certified EFT & Matrix Reimprinting Practitioner
Update: I continue to get the same question on how to create a personal energy shield for protection, even though I posted the answer in this article (read below) years ago. Well, I have decided to update it with a Bonus Energy Shield tip#5 and a video.
Why is it important to create a personal energy shield for protection? You’d want to create one if you find yourself constantly drained or have the tendency to be sensitive to energy interferences.
I was prompted to write this article after posting 70 Ways for Self Care. In response to tip #57, Lei – a reader to the article – had asked in the blog comments how she could create one as she has found herself surrounded by toxic people. Well,, I’d like to respond to her question in two parts; one specifically on how to create a personal energy shield for protection and the other, on how to handle toxic relationships in another article.
When we clear unfinished business, we are better able to reset our energy system or even rebooting it – so that we can invite in new possibilities.
What does it mean to clear unfinished business?
Clearing unfinished business involves letting go of old attachments, meeting unfulfilled promises, and honouring what we said that we would do. We work on clearing unfinished business because these outstanding items can create a drag in our energy system and can potentially be a stopper for starting things on a clean slate.
In terms of agreements, these could be contractual ones that we have made with an external body; such as getting into a housing loan agreement. Or they could be simply promises that we have made to our loved ones and even ourselves. Examples include
making a commitment for fidelity
saying “yes” to accompanying our partners for an engagement (even though we are not that interested and prefer to stay home)
offering to help out a friend
returning a small debt owed to our parents or relatives
agreeing to pay our share for a split restaurant bill
doing our share of household chores etc
It’s easy to forget the “smaller” promises that we have made but over time, these could add up and weigh on us. We repel abundance when we consistently don’t honour what we said we would do. Our promises don’t count if we have no intention of following through.
Unfinished business also can include grievances, hurts and conflicts that have been left unresolved. These create emotional debris. Even though we may not be conscious of them all the time, they take up space in our energetic system.
Learn more about Clearing Unfinished Business Below
Positive Outcomes from Clearing Unfinished Business
There are benefits to clearing up unfinished business as quickly as possible. We wouldn’t want to wait till we are on our deathbed to recall the promises that we’ve not yet kept. It certainly doesn’t serve us to hold on to any outstanding item year after year.
We even up any score that is left hanging at the back of our subconscious minds when we work on meeting our obligations. At the same time, we also prevent self-sabotage from taking place. In the physical dimension, we follow through with clear intent and action. We are in congruence – body, mind and spirit.
Our relationship with money improves. Not forgetting, many contracts and agreements involve money. When we keep to the terms of our agreement, we are in integrity. As a result we raise our energetic frequency that brings about more expansiveness, which also supports our ability to attract abundance.
Relationships with our partners also improve where we honour the promises that we make. Trust increases. We feel more grounded and secure in relationships where both parties keep to their word.
By releasing old attachments to the past, we create space for new relationships or to rejuvenate existing ones. Clearing unfinished business may require us to cut cords with negative or toxic people in our lives, let go of old grievances, practice forgiveness and move on to creating new and more fulfilling relationships.
What To Do Next: Create a List of Outstanding Items for Unfinished Business
Here are some reflection questions for you…
What are the promises that you have made to yourself or others that you haven’t quite met?
Are there any contracts or agreements that you have said “yes” to but there are remaining terms that you have not quite followed through on?
Any outstanding debts or loans to attend to? How is your plan to meet your obligations like?
Any old relationship ties that you need to say good-bye to?
Any grievances or grudges to resolve?
What past emotional baggage does it serve your highest interest to let go of?
Once you’ve created a list, prioritise the items according to how much lighter and freer you are going to feel as a result of clearing it. Create an action plan for working through the list and also specifying dates and timelines. Check off your list as you complete the items.
Clearing unfinished business is one of the modules in my course on Changing Your Relationship with Money. Alternatively, apply for a discovery call if you need personal help to work on clearing unfinished business.
Create more energetic space to invite in the new!
Love and abundance always, Evelyn Abundance Coach for Women Solopreneurs
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