A big questions is: How can we build self-confidence, as an introvert, in a world that seems to favour the extroverts?
Some clients of mine who are introverts seem to believe that their quiet personality is some kind of death sentence and that they are already at a disadvantage.
Well, it is true that those who are extroverted or have an outgoing personality tend to attract friends easily. They are fun, bright and great to hang out with. Generally, they appear to be confident about themselves. Society is also inclined to believe that those who are extroverted make natural leaders. But does this mean that those who are introverted have no or less chance to be successful?
Well, I’d like to share from my perspective as someone with an introverted personality but still desiring to connect with others socially. Also, I’d like to correct some myths on introverts. I also like to believe that the world has enough space for introverts to thrive as much as the extroverts or anyone in between.
Most introverts are quiet. They can feel as if they “don’t belong”. Quietness can seem to be something out of place in a world that is noisy. In fact, introversion is often perceived as something undesirable or a sign of weakness. From not speaking up, our silence is interpreted as being shy, having a lack of confidence and as having nothing valuable to contribute.
As kids, we may be taught that there is something fundamentally wrong with having an introverted or quiet personality. We were not the popular ones in school for sure. I recall feeling rather hurt when I was labelled as a “quiet kid”, which caused me to retreat even more into silence.
Recently, while attending a dinner-cum-networking gathering, someone suddenly pointed out that I have been really quiet. For a moment, I could feel as if all eyes were on me. Till then, I was occupied with listening to what the more talkative ones had to share. Put in the spot, I felt as if I had to defend myself for being quiet.
Keanu Reeves has much to say about being a quiet person…
I hate when people ask me: “Why are you so quiet?” Because I am. That’s how I function. I don’t ask others, “Why do you talk so much?” It’s rude.
